


Hope

by waddiwasiwitch



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Post: s05e22 Not Fade Away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-06
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2017-11-04 23:15:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 33,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/399283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waddiwasiwitch/pseuds/waddiwasiwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Xander comes across Spike in Los Angeles and discovers the vampire isn't dust after all, Spike is faced with an important decision.  Will he go see Buffy?  Will she be happy to see him or will she dust him for not telling her he survived the Hellmouth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One: Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own. All characters and references you recognize belong to their various owners. I make no profit from this. I own nothing but my own plot.
> 
>  
> 
> Author's Note:
> 
> Please read and review. I hope you enjoy reading this. Spuffy will come I promise. This is just the beginning. I decided to make Xander grow up a little and have a new perspective having lost Anya.

** Hope **

 

**Chapter One: Chance**

It was a chance encounter that Xander Harris never anticipated.  Actually as Xander would later  point out,  it was more like a chance glance of a familiar shock of peroxide blond hair and long leather duster.  He was in Los Angeles on a mission for the newly formed Watcher's Council when he came across what most people would deem a street brawl.   William the Bloody, or as he was more commonly known Spike, was fighting with several vampires at once.  To say that Xander was shocked was an understament considering that Spike was supposed to be nothing more than dust in the Hellmouth.  

"Well Captain Peroxide, you are looking awfully spry for a pile of ash," Xander said.

Spike did a double take and his indecision allowed one of the vampires to land a solid right hook on his nose.   

"Damn it."  He held his nose before throwing himself back into the fray.

He was more than holding his own, but he reached into his duster and threw another stake to Xander.   

"Are you just going to stand there or give me a hand?" he asked impatiently.

 Xander joined in the fray and between them the other vampires soon were nothing more than dust in the air.  The euphoria and adrenaline from the fight soon evaporated leaving the two in an uncomfortable silence.

"Spike it's good to see you" Xander began awkwardly.

Spike looked at him, eyebrow raised.

"Scratch that!  It is never good to see you!" Xander amended quickly. "How have you been?"

"Dead, deader, ghost, vampire in Hell A, vampire in actual Hell and then back in Hell A again."

Xander just stood there, his mouth open wide.

"Cat got your tongue, boy?" Spike asked.

"There was I just thinking you were dust" Xander stuttered.

"Actually I was."  Spike smirked. "But as it turns out I was posted in an envelope and landed in Great Poof's office."

"Wish I was there for that conversation." Xander grinned.

"Well not so much conversation as violence or at least attempted bloodshed anyway," Spike admitted.

They both laughed but then the awkward silence overcame them once more.

"Gee Spike what the hell are you doing here?  Does Buffy know you are back?"

"Quit the twenty questions!" Spike snapped.  Xander, however, didn't lower his gaze.

"No she doesn't know."  Spike said softly, looking down at his leather boots.

Xander shook his head sadly. 

"Spike, I always thought you were many things but I never had you down as a coward."

Spike flinched and glared at the darker haired man.

"I was trying to do the right thing.  You can't imagine how difficult it's been being without her."

"Yes I can," Xander replied, his eyes darkening at the memory his fallen ex girlfriend,

"It's not your decision as to what Buffy does with her life and it isn'tt mine and certainly not Angel's.  It's about time that the men in Buffy's life accepted that she is an adult and is perfectly capable of making her own decisions and her own mistakes."

"I am a man now am I?" Spike interrupted.

This only served to annoy Xander all the more. "Shut up!" Why was it Spike always seemed to bring the immature child in him?

He was trying to have a serious conversation with Spike of all people.  Who was he kidding?  Spike wasn't even a person after all.

"I don't like you.  I never will.  However, I still think she deserves the truth.  You have to tell her you are undead again.  Personally I hope she dusts you but she has earned the right to make that decision herself."

The normally arrogant swagger was gone as the vampire deflated before his eyes.

"I can't," Spike croaked. "She'll never forgive me for not telling her."

"She's forgiven you for a lot worse." Xander pointed out.

Spike winced, remembering the fateful night that had prompted him to seek out his soul.

"So Bleached wonder," Xander continued, "either you tell her or I will, and if it ends up with being me the messenger boy then I will be sure to point out to Buffy how you did not care enough to tell her yourself that you were back."

Spike met the challenge in the young man's eyes and bowed his head.  Xander was right.  Spike had never thought a day would come when the boy was making sense.  Wow the kid had grown up a lot. 

"So what else have you been up to besides being all flamey and dusty?" Xander's curiosity was getting the better of him.

"Been fighting the good fight with Captain Forehead," Spike answered mysteriously

"How did that happen exactly?  I mean how do you get from the violence to the working together?" 

"Long story!" Spike declared.

Xander decided then and there to start afresh with the vampire.  He would never forget what Spike was, but he owed it to Buffy and hell he even owed it to Spike after he saved the world.

"Well I have both time and a wad of cash courtesy of Giles.  I think both of us could do with a drink.  Fancy a beer?"

"Not likely but a Jack Daniels would be nice."

Xander rolled his eyes.  Some things never change.

"Jack Daniels it is then." Xander conceded. "But I still don't like you."

"The feeling is mutual, mate.  Still don't like you much either."

 

To be continued

************************************

 

Thank you so much for reading.  Please review.  Feedback would be great.  This chapter originally was a one shot and I wrote a sequel but as I am posting it anew here I am trying to amalgamate the two.  So hopefully it gels together.


	2. The Knock on the Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike turns up on Buffy's door step. How is he going to explain himself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is my second chapter. I really hope you like it. Please read and review. A special thank you goes out to Sanity Fair, who kindly betad this for me. Any mistakes are mine. 
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't profess to own Joss' awesome characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Two: The Knock on the Door

The door bell rang in Buffy Summer's quiet apartment. The petite blonde girl jumped up off her chair and made her way to the front door. As she pulled the door open, Buffy was met by the sight of someone she believed she'd never see again. 

"Spike," she choked. She blinked in disbelief, thinking he was nothing more than an illusion believing the vampire she saw before her was not really there. However, he was still there when she opened her eyes once more. He looked just as she had remembered him with the startling blue eyes and peroxide hair.

"Spike, are you real?" She asked, her voice trembling. He gazed at her, his eyes filled with emotion.

"Yeah," he affirmed softly. They stood there for a whole minute before she threw her arms around him. He pulled her close and gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead.

"How?" She sobbed.

"It's a long story, pet. One that might be best told inside, away from prying eyes," Spike said quietly, nodding pointedly at the curious glances they were getting from passersby.

"Come in, Spike." Buffy spoke quietly and stepped aside from the doorway to allow him access.

"Nice place you have got," he said, trying to delay the inevitable questions that would follow. However, instead of an answer, he was met with a familiar fist. His nose smashed under her hard blow of her small yet powerful fist. 

"Nice right hook you've got!" He replied holding his aching nose. He gave her a sheepish grin that quickly wilted under her patented Buffy glare.

"This is familiar! You pounding on me for information," he said, with a touch of asperity.

"Well you know how it goes then. So spill!" Buffy demanded. So he did. Buffy sat quietly while Spike told her of his time in Los Angeles. He could see that she was fit to interrupt, but she held her tongue. He gave her all the facts, but he did not answer the one question she wanted to know most of all. After all how could he tell her why he stayed away when he did not really know? Once he was finished, he could see Buffy was close to finally losing her temper. Her fists were clenched at her side, and she was radiating fury.

"Why did I even let you in the front door?" She asked, bitterly. She avoided his probing gaze, and watched the floor intently.

"Because you missed me?" he whispered with a smirk. Somehow, it was easier to piss her off than it was to apologize. He was a master vampire from the Order of Aurelius after all. Besides he loved to fight with her. However, he could tell from her face that he had gone too far. Her eyes were narrowed dangerously, and her mouth was in a hard line. She hit his already tender nose again with a well placed right hook. 

"Ouch," he yelled. "Why is it always the nose?"

She glared at him. His brash, arrogant swagger wilted under her hard glare.

"You missed me a little didn't you?" He asked, tilting his head looking almost like a little lost puppy. Her anger evaporated a little.

"What's wrong with me? I totally have a right to be angry." She balled her fists in anger. He was as frustrating as ever.

"I obviously forgot how irritating and annoying you are," she snapped. Her angry stare made him avoid her gaze. 

"I am sorry pet, for what it's worth," Spike said ashamedly. "I really missed you, and I was wrong to keep mum about this."

"Huh! Keep whose mum?" Buffy asked, confused. Spike turned to look at her one more. He rolled his eyes, but when he spoke, it was patiently.

"It means to keep quiet about something."

"Spike you didn't just keep quiet about this." Buffy furiously pointed out, "You let me think you were dead all this time,"

"I was dead," he replied. It was the wrong thing to say. She screamed in frustration and threw a dishcloth at him.

"You don't get to joke your way out of this one you bastard. It is not a laughing matter. Do I matter in the slightest to you anymore?"

"Buffy, I---" he began but he was quickly interrupted.

"No you don't get to talk. For once in your life, uh unlife, you will listen and shut up!"

He nodded in acquiescence.

"I would have expected this crap from Angel, but never from you. You always came back no matter what. There was no getting rid of you, whether I wanted to or not! Then after everything that happened and everything between us you do this!"

Those words stung him. Comparing him to his grandsire was always a sore point. He resolved to remain calm. He was in the wrong after all, but the woman always riled him up.

"I came in the end, just took a detour is all!" he said, defensively. She gave him another fierce glare. He could see that she was getting steadily angrier, and she was gorgeous when she was angry. It was an unfair advantage in a fight. He really missed it.

"I mourned your sorry ass while you were taking a ‘detour' with your grandsire whom you apparently hate." she shouted. He could see the pain behind her anger, and he felt incredibly guilty. However, he fought the rising emotion within him and embraced his own anger instead.

"And while you were mourning me you were also throwing yourself into the arms of the Immortal," he snapped angrily. As soon as the words were out of his mouth he wanted to take them back. She looked incredulously at him.

"You really have no clue," she said, shaking her head.

"Buffy, love, I'm sorry!" He pleaded.

"What part exactly?" She asked coldly. He walked towards her and she turned her face away. He gently turned her to face him.

"For everything," he said, looking into her eyes trying to convey to her the sincerity in his statement. She stepped back from him, and he wondered again for the hundredth time that night whether he had done the right thing in coming back to her. He really needed a cigarette, but with the mood the Slayer was in he knew it was not a good idea. He had done enough baiting tonight. He settled for pacing instead.

"Oh Buffy, why do we always do this?" he said, exasperated, gesturing frantically when the silence got too unbearable. He could see the tears in her eyes, and he hated being the cause of them. She rubbed her eyes.

"There was a time when we could have had a civilised conversation," she said, in a dead voice.

He raised his eyebrow sardonically.

"Oh, my bad, I forgot who I was talking about! I should have said almost," she said with a half smile. The ache in his chest lessened a little. If she was feeling up to banter then maybe there was a way they could both could end this day without ripping each other to pieces.

"I missed that. I missed you," he said, softly.

"Hold me, Spike!" she said, softly, and he duly obliged. She basked in his presence and his smell. He smelled just how she remembered. He was there, really there. She pulled away slightly and brushed her hand on his face. He watched her with a mixture of wonder and adoration.

"Stupid dumb vampire!" she said affectionately. He smiled, really smiled.

"Bossy bint!" he retorted, but in an equally loving tone. They did not know what the future held yet, but they just basked in the moment. The time for recrimination was over for now. Those serious conversations could wait. For now, it was enough to just be there with one another. They looked at each other and laughed. For the first time in a long time, Spike could feel that flicker of hope he thought was long since extinguished.

 

It was not long before the atmosphere between the vampire and the slayer became tense again. Buffy motioned for Spike to sit and she did the same but made sure that there was plenty space between them. An uncomfortable silence stretched out between them.

"So how is the bit?" Spike enquired and Buffy gladly latched onto the topic. Spike smiled as Buffy listed Dawn's achievements. The Nibblet had grown up and he had missed it all. Would she even want to see him again? She had once told him if he hurt Buffy again, she would set him on fire while he slept. Unfortunately, the truth was he had hurt Buffy again because he was a selfish coward. The warring emotions must have shown on his face because Buffy put her hand on his arm.

"She missed you too," Buffy said, reassuringly.

"Did she really?" He asked, in a hollow voice.

"Yes, you idiot. She was very upset when she thought that she never got a chance to settle things between you. She will be thrilled to see you." This bolstered him, and he felt a rush of gratitude for the amazing woman beside him. She was comforting him when he really did not deserve it.

"Buffy I..." he began feel the need to apologise once more. Buffy sighed.

"Can we not for now?" Buffy asked, desperately and Spike nodded, not a little relieved as well. Buffy was too tired to get into any further meaningful discussions. She was still angry, but she decided she wanted to bask for a little while in his nearness. He wasn't gone after all, and she did not know if she could ever forgive him for the last year. She was torn between wanting to hit him again and jump his bones. For now they could just be two old friends who found each other again. They were never good at the talking part after all. Suddenly, the front door swung open, and the sounds of an ungainly gait filled the apartment. Dawn Summers burst into the room.

 

To be continued..


	3. Mixed Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike has a long overdue conversation with Dawn, while Buffy recovers from her shock of finding that Spike has been hiding his return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: A special thank you to my kind and patient beta, SanityFair.
> 
> Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and situations aren't mine. I'm just playing pretend.

Chapter Three: Mixed Emotions

Dawn's noisy entrance came to a halt when she caught sight of the vampire sitting on the sofa. It seemed as if the noise had been suddenly sucked from the room as the silent reunited trio stared at one another. The younger Summers sister seemed unable to form coherent words, her mouth moving uselessly.

"Hi Dawn." Spike looked up at her and smiled softly. The sound of his voice seemed to spur Dawn into speech, and her shocked expression quickly turned to suspicion. 

"Buffy, is that the First, because it sure as hell can't be who it looks like?" She turned to her sister. She pointed toward Spike, her eyes wide with incredulity.

"Yep, Dawnie, the one and the only!" Buffy replied glibly.

Dawn's gaze turned back to the vampire. Her eyes were wide with shock and her mouth gaped in surprise at the familiar face before her. There were not a lot of things that silenced Dawn Summers, but this was one of them.

"Spike," she gasped. "It is really you!"

Buffy smiled at her sister's enthusiasm with a wistful look in her eyes. "She looks like a little girl again."

"Dawn." Spike's eyes held a look of hopefulness.

Dawn mumbled at a loss as to where she should begin. "Wow, here you are, not quite as dusty as we thought."

She was torn between jumping into his arms and shaking his hand. There had been a time when he had been her best friend, but they were no longer as close. So many things had happened during that last year in Sunnydale. Sensing her hesitancy, Spike eventually put out his hand, as if to shake hers, but Dawn threw her arms around him instead.

"I'm glad you are back," Dawn said, sincerely. "We really missed you."

Spike breathed a sigh of relief as Dawn burst into tears of joy. Buffy watched the scene with watery eyes.

"Buffy, what did you do?" Dawn asked, between sobs.

"I didn't do anything." Buffy arched her brows and squared her shoulders with an indignant air. "He just turned up on the doorstep an hour ago".

Buffy suddenly found the need to excuse herself for a little while. The wealth of emotion in the room was getting to her, and she needed to be alone to collect her thoughts.

"Spike I don't have any blood in the kitchen, but I can offer you almost anything else." She stood to make her way to the kitchen.

"Cocoa," Dawn and Spike said in unison.

She smiled, tightly. "I guess that's three hot cocoas." She went into the kitchen and left Spike and Dawn alone. 

"I don't think I will be ever able to forgive or forget what you tried to do, but when I thought you were gone forever, all I wanted was to let you know that I missed my friend."

"You were perfectly right you know," Spike answered, honestly. "I never expected forgiveness. Got more than I deserve, I daresay."

"So spill it. How did you come back?"

"Remember that big bauble I got, courtesy of the grand poof. Well, it trapped my essence and spat me out in Peaches' office. Turns out he got it from Wolfram and Hart."

"You have been back a while then," she said accusingly. "How long Spike?" Her gaze hardened and Spike gulped. She was barely more than a little girl, but next to Buffy, her opinion was the most important to him.

"The better part of a year," he admitted, waiting for the storm to hit.

"What!" She yelled.

"It is a long story," he said, avoiding her furious gaze. "It starts with being stuck as a real live Casper and being unable to leave Hell incorporated."

"You look pretty solid to me." She poked him hard in the chest for emphasis. "You really hurt her, Spike."

"I know." he said, as he ran his hand through his hair mussing up his carefully gelled curls.

Spike grimaced. It was only proper that he felt like shit, but it didn't make it any easier.

"Do you still love her?"

"I never stopped."

"Then how, Spike?" How could you stay away?" She shook her head in disbelief.

He finally found the courage to raise his eyes to meet hers. "At first I couldn't, but later when I was able, I found that I didn't know how. Then the longer it went on the more difficult it became. Maybe, I needed to see who I could be without Buffy or a chip as my conscience?"

"And did it work? Do you know who you are now?"

"The name's Spike," he said, playfully trying to dodge the question.

Dawn knew he was avoiding the question. She frowned and rolled her eyes. 

Spike raised his hands, as if in surrender. "I know it was the wrong decision, just another wrong decision in a long line of them. The thing is I missed my girls, but I convinced myself it was for the best. I figured the grandsire was right. My girls deserved some sweetness and light."

Her expression softened a little at his words. "And don't forget the fear that Buffy was going to stake your ass for hiding," Dawn pointed out.

"I was not hiding but essentially yeah," he admitted grudgingly.

"You know for someone who's been around for more than a century, you're a real dumb ass."

"I know, but it is part of my charm." 

Spike suspected Buffy had just needed to get away as she had been quite a while in the kitchen. Sure enough, he soon heard the quiet sobs of the Slayer, and his heart constricted painfully. It was only Spike's vampire hearing that allowed him to hear Buffy's crying, so Dawn was still unaware her sister was sobbing her heart out in the kitchen. 

"Dawn, I think you better go to your sister"

Dawn looked at him quizzically.

"She's crying pet and seeing I'm probably the reason, you should probably be the one who comforts her."

Dawn nodded.

"Maybe I should go and come back tomorrow." Spike started to get up from his seat to leave.

"Don't you dare! Uh uh, you caused this mess in the first place. No, you will sit there and squirm with guilt."

Dawn pointed back at the chair he'd vacated. He could see Dawn was furious, and her tone brooked no argument, so he sat back down. 

Dawn went into the kitchen. Spike was right. Buffy was a mess, sobbing on the floor of the kitchen. Her back was up against the cupboard and her eyes were red.

"Oh Buffy!" Dawn said and wrapped her arms around her shaking sister. 

"Did Spike send you in?"

"Yeah,"

"Is he.....?" Buffy was suddenly alert.

"No, not yet, but I will tell him to go if you want me to?"

"No." Buffy got up quickly, dabbing her eyes. She had to face him. Things were complicated as always with him. She was delighted he was back, yet she was furious he had concealed his return from her. Anger and joy were warring for dominance within her. One minute she was fuming and the next she was elated. However, above all else she was tired. The two sisters returned to the concerned vampire.

"Buffy, are you all right?" He could barely meet her gaze as if the guilt of his actions were weighing him down.

"What do you want, Spike? Why are you really here?" Buffy felt she sounded so tired and confused.

"Why do you think, love? You know how I feel, but I think we could be friends."

"Ha that's funny coming from you, especially since I meant so much to you that you never bothered to tell me you were playing lawyer with Angel. Speaking of my ex boyfriend, remember what you once said to Angel and me?"

Spike remembered well. "You'll never be friends," he had told them. Spike's stomach roiled at the reminder of her past relationship with his grandsire. Their past relationship still bothered him and caused a bout of envy. He couldn't help but feel --he would always be second best to Angel. Buffy was starting to realise that maybe the suggestion that Spike leave was not such a bad one after all. She could see the hurt in his eyes, and she hated to see it, but she was perfectly right to be angry.

"I'm sorry, Spike. I'm just confused and emotional. Maybe, I just need some space to think. Could you leave for a while? I don't want you to disappear again, but I just need some time alone. Take Dawnie with you. Have a proper catch up."

Spike bowed his head in acquiescence. He knew he was losing the battle. In fact, he probably had already had, the moment he decided to keep his reappearance a secret

Dawn grabbed his arm and squeezed it. "So, looks like I get to be your babysitter this time," she whispered and winked.

Spike smirked despite himself and took one last longing look back at Buffy. He headed out the door and onto the street.

"Spike," Buffy called at his retreating back and he turned around.

"Promise you will come back again at dusk?"

"Don't worry, I am not running away, pet".

"Good," she said smiling. 

Maybe all was not lost yet.

 

To be continued.....

 

Thanks for reading. I would appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you thought of it.


	4. The Importance of Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike and Dawn reconnect, while Buffy catches up with Xander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own this world or characters, but if I did my name would be Joss Whedon. So, no I really don't own anything except my own plot. 
> 
> I want to thank the wonderful Sanity Fair once more. She has whipped this fic into shape.

Chapter Four: The Importance of Friends

Spike and Dawn walked down the street in silence. Dawn could tell Spike was thinking hard. The fact the vampire looked miserable was the only thing that kept Dawn from tearing into him. She could clearly see he still loved Buffy. 

"You have been spending too much time with Angel!" Dawn declared, suddenly breaking the silence.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Spike met her gaze for the first time since they'd started walking.

"Since when do you brood? I thought Angel was the one who had that down, patented and trademarked."

"Don't compare me to Captain Forehead. I don't brood."

"Could have fooled me! What's all this then?"

Dawn decided not to push the issue and changed the subject when he didn't reply. "So, Spike, please tell me you checked into a hotel and not a crypt."

"Don't worry. I have a room somewhere. Are you hungry? I can hear your stomach rumbling."

"Actually, I am starving. I was going to order some pizza until I discovered a formerly incinerated vampire all undead and well in my sitting room. However, I know a late night cafe that serves some mean wings."

Spike and Dawn walked into an American style diner, which was almost empty. He gave a small smirk as he spotted the red booths and the American flags. She gave him a sheepish grin. "My home away from home," she admitted. 

A red haired waitress waved at Dawn. Dawn walked over to the woman and smiled brightly.

"Hi Stacey, can we please have two orders of Buffalo wings and one Coke, please."

Dawn noticed Stacey looking Spike over from head to toe as he found a table. She leaned over the counter to whisper in the ear of the dark haired teenager. "Hey Dawn, you've got yourself a looker there."

"Settle down, Stace. You have got it wrong, he's a friend." Dawn laughed at the absurd notion.

"More fool you, then. He's hot. Do you think he would take my number?"

"Hey hands off! That is my sister's ex. You have met my sister and that 'looker' is called Spike."

"You said ex, Dawn. That makes him fair game!"

"They are..." Dawn searched for the right word. Stacey looked curious but said nothing.

"They are complicated" Dawn finished, "Besides, Buffy is very possessive."

Stacey gulped. "I remember seeing Buffy knock that six foot body builder into orbit that one time. I think I'll keep my distance."

The teenager headed back to the table to Spike, where he was smirking. Of course he'd heard the whole conversation. Vampire hearing how could I forget!

"Nice to know I still have it."

It wasn't long before Stacey brought their food to the table. Spike reached for his wallet.

"Thanks, pet, and keep the change." Spike passed her enough to cover both his and Dawn's meals and a generous tip.

"You are such a flirt! Don't be encouraging her." Dawn punched him in the shoulder.

"Okay, mum. What can I say? Some men have it and some men don't." Spike was simply preening. She couldn't help but giggle. It was nice to see that gleam in his eye again, even for moment. It had been missing all evening. Once the giggles subsided, both the vampire and girl lapsed into silence again. Their thoughts were both focused on the same person: Buffy. 

"What was that back there Spike?" She looked at him curiously. "Even if you are wrong you usually still shoot your mouth off. It was like you had given up."

"Yeah, but she was crying, and it was because of me." He carefully studied the scratched table.

Dawn sighed. "You know she will forgive you, right? You may not deserve it. Buffy's pissed at you right now and I am as well, but you kind of have a get-out-of-jail-relatively-unscathed card. I think she missed kicking your ass."

The vampire gave reluctant grin at that. "I missed that too!"

"Pervert!"

 

Meanwhile, Buffy was getting restless. It had been almost two hours since Dawn and Spike had left. She couldn't help feeling the sudden grip of panic for fear he wouldn't return, and that left her with a terrible sense of loss. It was so frustrating.

"Damn vampire," she muttered to herself. She couldn't get properly angry at him, because every time she did she would remember, not a few hours ago she was under the impression he was nothing more than dust at the bottom of the Hellmouth. She was delighted this was not the case, but she simply couldn't understand why he'd felt the need to keep it from her. He claimed he loved her but surely his weren't the actions of a man in love. She decided she needed to train. Maybe, it would help with venting her anger. She had her own training room, but she usually liked to train with the Slayers. Tomorrow she was going to call in sick. There was no way she'd be able to concentrate, and she feared she wouldn't get a wink of sleep for the night. Buffy walked into the barely used training room and her eyes landed upon the punching bag. She briefly recalled a moment from the last night she'd spent with Spike, after she had returned from her surprise reunion with Angel. Spike had drawn a picture of Angel on the punching bag. She was tempted to take a leaf out of Spike's book and draw a picture of Spike and thump the punching bag off its chains. She quickly laughed the notion away. She thought of how Spike and Angel had been fighting side by side while she was in the dark, and Buffy's punches quickly became harder. How could they? Angel certainly wouldn't have been encouraging Spike to see her. She expected the whole "for her own good" from Angel and even her friends, but never from Spike.

"Stupid, selfish..."

The chain holding up the punching bag creaked ominously.

"...pain in the ass"

This time the punching bag came right off the chains and hit the wall on the other side of the room.

Buffy sighed in defeat. This was clearly not helping. Perhaps a night's slayage might do the job. I am going to have me some vampires for dinner.

 

On the way back from patrol, Buffy passed by Xander's place. She was surprised to see that his light was still on. She felt a jolt of affection for her male friend as she thought about how despite Xander's own dislike for Spike he'd been able to put that aside and convince the vampire of his stupidity. She rang the doorbell and a sleepy looking Xander appeared in the doorway. She threw her arms around him. He looked as though it took a moment for his sleep deprived brain took a few moments to catch on. He grinned sheepishly. "Is this about a certain not so dead bleach boy?" He gestured for her to come in and closed the door behind him.

"Thanks, Xan, for giving Spike a talking to. He told me for once he would grudgingly admit that you spoke some sense."

Xander looked bemused. "I am glad Buff. How are you?"

"Honestly, I don't know." She gave him a weary grin.

"So have you staked him yet?" Xander wiggled his eyebrows. 

"Not yet. It was a close call though."

Xander nodded and squeezed her hand. "I think the Buffster is in the need of ice cream and being the great friend that I am, I will oblige" Buffy couldn't help but laugh as Xander bowed, ironically.

"Yes, sad Buffy and ice cream are decidedly mixy." Buffy took her friend by the arm, and they headed for the kitchen.

 

Buffy was feeling a lot more positive the following morning. She had spent the night at Xander's place. She really should spend more time with Xander. Just as the morning sun was coming into view, Buffy arrived back home. She opened the door and was surprised to hear the sound of somebody rooting around. She took up a fighting stance and headed into the kitchen where she could hear a disturbance. 

"Thank god for slayer stealth" she muttered. Buffy pulled open the door and came face to face with her shocked sister. Dawn screamed which was a major feat in itself considering she had a mouthful of pancake. When the sisters recovered from the shock, they burst into laughter.

"Trust you to make it sound like a herd of elephants in my kitchen!"

"Your kitchen? Ha! Have you ever made a proper meal in your life?"

"I can cook...sometimes. Beans and toast are my speciality, and I always provide a great take out."

All of a sudden, Buffy remembered she'd sent Dawn away with Spike the previous night. 

"Where's Spike?"

"He asked me to give you this." Dawn reached into her handbag and pulled out an envelope. 

 

To be continued.


	5. Reminiscing and Recriminations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike and Buffy take an important step in sorting out their messed up relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes:  
> This chapter isn't fully beta'd. Any mistakes are my own. Again, a big thanks to the wonderful Sanity Fair.

Chapter Five: Reminiscing and Recriminations

 

Buffy was beyond furious. “How could he take off without as much as a goodbye?” She couldn’t understand it, and why was Dawn smiling? Her hands were balled into fists, and she was shaking with suppressed rage. 

Dawn shook her head. “Buffy, relax. He’s back at his hotel.”

The tension suddenly left her body as the girl’s words permeated her brain. She frowned in confusion, her mouth agape. “Why would he write me a letter?” 

Dawn laughed at her sister’s expression. “It’s just that we got to talking, and I suggested he write you.”

Buffy looked at her incredulously, but Dawn was unabashed. “Well, you two are never good at expressing what you feel.”

Buffy sighed in relief, grabbing the letter from Dawn. “I can’t believe Spike would listen to you.” She didn’t make to open it though. Instead, she just fingered the writing on the envelope. Buffy looked up at her now taller baby sister.

“Read the letter, Buffy.” Dawn gave her a reassuring smile. “It should set your mind at ease. I rang in to Slayer Central to tell them you weren’t feeling well today and wouldn’t be in.”

“Thanks, you’re the best sister.”

“I’m your only sister.” She plopped down in the chair, winking at Buffy. “Now, I’m heading back to Spike, right where I left him, handcuffed to the bed.”

Buffy was momentarily agog, until she regained her senses. Dawn’s voice rang through gales of laughter.

“Dawn!”

“Well, he is a hottie,” the younger girl said, with a grin, “but unfortunately he only has eyes for you! It is just as well, because he’s like the idiotic big brother I never had.”

“Do you really mean that?” Buffy asked, surprised.

“Absolutely, but don’t tell him, because his head is swollen enough already.”

“Everybody won’t be as happy to see Spike is back as we are.” Buffy was especially thinking of her Watcher. Things had been strained after Giles had planned to kill Spike in Sunnydale.

“Maybe they won’t, but it’s none of their business. It doesn’t matter what Spike, I or anybody else wants. The way you live is down to you. It is your life, and only you can make those decisions.”

“Oh, Dawnie, when did you get so grownup?”

“You don’t remember? That’s funny because I distinctly remember you kicking the First Evil’s ass at the time.”

“Ha, ha.” Buffy rolled her eyes, swatting Dawn’s arm lightly. 

 

After her sister left, Buffy opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. She looked at the elegant handwriting on what was obviously hotel paper. She stared at the name of the hotel on the header while she tried to pluck up the courage to read what Spike had to say. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to read it or not, but eventually curiosity won out.

“Dear Buffy,

I feel like a right ponce writing this, but the Bit insisted it was a good idea. 

I have never been good at expressing how I feel. I’m more comfortable with my fists and fangs, and I always say the wrong thing. This is where the letter comes in. Buffy, I love you. I thought about you every day. I’ve really missed you. My feelings never changed, but I did, and I can see that you did too. I wanted to give you a chance to really live, and I wanted to be my own man. I needed to see if I could be the good man you claimed I could be.

I’ve always been love’s bitch, and I’ve spent all my life following the whims of those I loved. (I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not Captain Forehead’s

bitch!) I wanted to make my own way, but it wasn’t to be. I found a place where I was needed.

I know I’ve hurt you, and I regret that. No matter what I do, it seems to end up with me hurting you, and that’s the last thing in the world I want to do.

Love,

Spike”

When Buffy finished the letter, she was left with a number of questions only one person could answer. She would see him soon enough, but she wouldn’t wait for him to come at sunset. She smiled, resolving to go to him.

 

Later that night, Spike was watching Manchester United get beaten, when there was a knock on the door. It was a welcome reprieve from the torture that was the football game. He was surprised to come face to face with the Slayer.

“Spike, grab your stuff. You’re coming with me.” Buffy was being bossy. He loved it when she was bossy. Sexy bint. He obediently put on his duster and followed her out the door.

“So, where to, love?”

“I want to test a theory,” she replied.

“What theory would that be then?” Spike cocked his head to the side and arched a brow.

Buffy had a mischievous grin on her face. “We are going to go patrolling. I want to see if your reflexes are still reflexy and see what Angel taught you?”

“My reflexes have not gone soft!” Spike began, “And hey, there’s nothing Peaches could teach me.”

The moment he turned to look at Buffy, he knew he had been had. She laughed at his indignant expression. “Race you to the cemetery!”

She sped out the door of the hotel. Spike shook his head in amusement and took after his slayer.

 

The night flew by. It was just like old times. They still fought seamlessly, knowing instinctively where the other was and anticipating each other’s movements. There weren’t a lot of monsters to slay, so they spent a large part of the night just talking about the parts of each other’s lives they had missed out on, as well as reminiscing about Sunnydale. Buffy didn’t mention the letter, and Spike did not know whether to be relieved or worried. They were dancing around the elephant in the room once more. Spike was reluctant to disturb the strained peace that existed between them at the moment. They had managed to go the whole night without bickering which was probably a record for them. After going two hours without any violence, Spike figured it was time to call it a night. Buffy was obviously thinking the same thing as she turned to him. “I guess I had better go home. I have to work in the morning. Walk me?”

Spike duly obliged. They were both quiet during the walk, but it was a comfortable silence. However, the vampire never did like to stay silent for too long and as they arrived at their destination, he spoke. “Buffy-”

Buffy interrupted him. “Don’t!” She put a finger to his lips. 

He took her hand away. He held it though instead. “Don’t what, love?” He raised an inquiring brow.

“Don’t open your big fat mouth and break the spell.” She gently loosened her hand, and they stood there smiling at each other, looking like nervous teenagers. “I think I could do with a drink. Do you want one?”

“Never wanted one more,” Spike replied. He wasn’t talking about the drink. While Buffy went to get them something to drink, Spike threw himself onto the couch. Buffy returned with two glasses of whiskey. Spike was surprised at her choice of drink, considering Buffy had a reputation for being a lightweight when it came to alcohol. He gave her a quizzical look.

“What?” She asked defensively, taking a little sip from her glass. Spike watched her making a face at the taste out of the corner of his eye. He couldn’t help an affectionate grin. After a few quiet moments Buffy spoke.

“Spike I am so glad you are back.” Her voice was shaky. Her eyes were filled with tears as he turned to look at her properly.

“Me too, love,” he replied, pulling her close to him. “I really hate to see you cry.”

She put her head onto his shoulder and relaxed in his embrace. He had started to worry he would never get to be close to her again. Spike closed his eyes. He basked in the familiar scent of her. 

Buffy’s eyelids fluttered. “I know I should probably say goodnight and go up to bed, but I’m just so comfortable. Can you stay here with me?”

“Of course, love.” She smiled at him and closed her eyes. It wasn’t long until she was asleep, and he took full advantage of the opportunity to watch her until his own eyes started to close. She’s so beautiful even when she was snoring. That was his last thought before sleep enveloped him as well.

 

The pair awoke the next morning, limbs entwined on the sofa, to find a superior looking Dawn looking down on them. Both Buffy and Spike jumped with fright. Vampire and Slayer awkwardly extricated themselves from each other. Buffy had a good night’s sleep despite the crick in her neck, but she knew there was a reason why she hadn’t wanted the previous night to end. She couldn’t shake the feeling that things were going to go wrong. 

The previous night had been a brief respite in the storm. There was too much to work out and discuss before things between them could be the same between them again. A loud snort interrupted her musings. “You two are just too cute! I wish I had my camera.”

“I am not cute,” Spike protested with horror at the insinuation.

“Yep, you’re the Big Bad, blah blah!” Dawn mocked. “Bed hair looks good on you by the way.”

Spike unconsciously played with the tousled curls that were beginning to show on his head, while Dawn caught her sister’s eye.

“Ignore her Spike. I know I do,” Buffy said, patting the embarrassed vampire on the arm.

Suddenly, there was a familiar piercing yell from the other side of the room. “Spike!” 

They turned to look in the direction of the familiar voice and saw Andrew Wells with a big beaming smile on his face.

“Here we go again,” Spike muttered so only Buffy could hear.

“Gandalf the White has returned.” Andrew threw his arms around a reluctant and discomfited Spike, much to the amusement of the two sisters.

“Andrew,” Spike acknowledged.

Buffy’s expression had changed from mirth to resentment, and she turned on Andrew.

“Spike told me you visited him out in LA, and you never bothered to let me know.”

Her eyes narrowed in anger, and the young man quailed at the sight of her righteous fury.

“Hey Slayer, you know I told the boy to keep quiet,” Spike pointed out putting his hand on her arm, but she shook it off.

“Don’t you interfere, Spike. I am stilled pissed at you by the way,” she snapped at the vampire. He held his hands out in surrender while Buffy rounded on Andrew again.

“Don’t ever keep something so important from me again!” She spoke menacingly.

Buffy stormed out of the room leaving silence in her wake.

“She’s not a morning person,” Dawn said drily, finally breaking the silence.

 

Once Buffy got to the sanctuary of her room she threw herself down on the bed. Andrew’s appearance had finally burst the bubble of the perfect night. She was reminded yet again of the pain of the last year when she had no idea Spike was running around the place with Angel. Despite the truce of the night before, she wasn’t through being angry with Spike. They had a lot to talk about, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready. She was also reminded that she had to go into work today and face Giles and Willow. Buffy was not too worried about Willow’s reaction, but her former Watcher was sure to be furious. Her relationship with Giles since his attempt to get Spike killed had not been the same, but it was a lot better now than it had been the last few days on the Hellmouth. Buffy took a deep breath, pulled off her dirty clothes, and headed for the shower.

To be continued....

 

Let me know what you think, please.


	6. Starting Anew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though Buffy and Spike had a nice evening reconnecting they are far from having all their issues resolved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betaing services by the wonderful Sanity Fair. Any mistakes are mine.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own, but I often play in this universe created by Joss Whedon.

Chapter Six: Starting Anew 

Spike was nervous. The night before had been like a nice dream, but he knew they were simply delaying the inevitable. They clearly still had a lot of talking to do, and her friends also would be yet another breaking point. The Watcher would surely be unwelcoming, and he was unsure as to how Red would react. Still, he had been pleasantly surprised by Harris, so maybe the others would surprise him as well. Spike sighed. Andrew was still talking a mile a minute but he wasn’t listening.   
Dawn broke his reverie. “Andy, you better get moving if you want to get to that meeting with Giles.”  
Andrew suddenly stood up straight. “Oh yes, if you will excuse me Spike, I’ve a very important meeting to attend,” he said in a dignified tone.  
Spike caught Dawn’s eye silently thanking her. The vampire stood and headed up the stairs. Trying to figure out which room belonged to Buffy, he sniffed the air. He smirked to himself; vampire senses were terribly handy he mused. He noticed the room in question ironically bore the sign “Buffy’s room.” He rolled his eyes and knocked tentatively on the door. “Buffy?”   
“One moment, Spike. I’m getting dressed.”  
“Nothing I haven’t seen before, Slayer,” he pointed out. However, he waited as she asked.  
Minutes later Buffy opened the door. He gave a brief look around the room noticing its simplicity in comparison to her room in Sunnydale, which had been full of mementos and old photographs. Those were all gone now of course like Sunnydale itself. He turned his attention back to Buffy.  
“You okay, love?” he asked concernedly.  
“Sorry for snapping earlier.” Buffy smiled apologetically.  
“Never mind, pet. I probably deserved it,” he conceded.  
“You really did, but I don’t want to go into that conversation right now,” she said. “Can you stay here and we can talk later? I really need to get to work right now.”  
“Don’t see I have much choice, love.” He gestured towards the curtained window.  
“Not that it ever stopped you before,” she replied.   
He shrugged. “Don’t know this place as well as Sunnyhell.”  
“I guess you don’t.” Buffy laughed hollowly. “That’s sorted then. No adventures for Spike today. Buffy can’t yell at dust in the wind after all.”  
“Might be a better end than a Slayer’s wrath,” Spike quipped. He immediately knew he had said the wrong thing.   
“Don’t even joke about that!” she said heatedly.   
“Sorry, love. It was just a joke. Besides you were the one who brought it up.”  
“Some joke! Is that what you were thinking when I was clueless?”   
He winced as though she slapped him. She was being unreasonable. He considered her for a moment tilting his head to the side and shook it in exasperation.  
“I’m not even going to answer that. You’re looking to pick a fight and as usual, it’s a round of Kick-the-Spike. Yeah, I’m an insensitive idiot. That’s been covered already, love. I’m not your punching bag any longer, and when you’re through being a bitch, we need to talk proper like.”  
Spike turned to leave the room, as he could tell that Buffy was about to explode.  
“Did you just call me a bitch?” Buffy asked incredulously.  
Spike stopped in his tracks and turned to face her. “Yeah you’re acting like a bitch. I know you, Buffy, and while you are pissed at me, you’re also worried about your precious do-gooder friends.”  
“How can you say that?” Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “Back in Sunnydale, I chose you over all of them,and you still think I’m afraid to go against them.”  
He let out a derisive laugh. “Funny isn’t it?”  
He had killed thousands of men, women, and children, yet here he stood, vulnerable. This tiny woman could make him more terrified and angry than anybody else ever could and he suspected ever would. Buffy’s face had lost that look of rage and she grabbed hold of his hand, squeezing it tight.  
“Spike, you were never my dirty little secret,” Buffy began shyly. Spike raised his brow ironically.   
“Sorry I guess you kind of were,” she admitted. “What I mean is that you were important to me back then, after I was brought back. I couldn’t have got through it all without you. I want you to know that.”  
Spike’s heart lightened with Buffy’s words. He was momentarily stuck for words.  
“Thanks,” he said simply, once he figured how to use his mouth again.  
“Guess I had better be off then,” Buffy said, with what sounded like forced cheerfulness.   
“Buffy you don’t have to tell them yet if you do not want to,” he offered, “I sort of liked being your dirty little secret.”  
Buffy smiled and kissed him chastely on the cheek.  
“I want to, but thank you,” she whispered.

 

Buffy and Spike left the room in a much better frame of mind than when they entered. Spike was surprised to see that Andrew had not left. Obviously, the boy was too nosy for his own good. Andrew looked at Spike then turned to look at Buffy and grinned even wider if possible.  
“It’s just so romantic,” Andrew said teary eyed, “The vampyr and the slayer reunited despite all the odds. They can be together, get married, and have babies. I would be best man, right?”  
The other three were looking on incredulously at a clueless Andrew, who was waxing lyrical.  
“Yes I think they would make beautiful babies,” he declared.  
“Don’t be stupid boy, vampire here and I can’t have-” Spike interrupted impatiently.  
“Oh, my bad. Wow! Did your soul come with a curse like Angel’s, or are you just not able to perform?”  
“What! No!” Spike spluttered. Buffy and Dawn were in tears with laughter. He turned helplessly to the sisters.  
“Help me out Slayer,” Spike pleaded. Buffy stayed quiet, but Dawn obliged taking pity on the vampire.  
“He means vampires can’t have children, not that he can’t have sex,” Dawn explained.  
“I happen to have had no complaints,” Spike said indignantly. He stood up straighter.  
“Mmm fun times,” Buffy murmured, but didn’t realise she’d spoken aloud until she spotted Spike with a huge smile.  
“Oh I bet!” Andrew said suggestively.   
Spike didn’t like the look Andrew was giving him.   
“Well, Andrew, I’m off to Slayer Central now if you want to come with,” Buffy said to the young man.   
The slayer and Andrew left leaving Spike and Dawn alone.  
“So you two looked pretty cosy this morning,” The girl probed.  
“Nothing happened. Not that it’s any of your business, you nosy bint,” Spike replied in a light tone.  
Dawn’s brow furrowed. “I’m worried about her, Spike. She hasn’t been the same since that day.”   
Spike met her worried eyes. “Losing your home and town is bound to do that to you. You’re not the same either, I’d wager,” he pointed out. She bristled at that.  
“It was losing you,” Dawn said impatiently. “You’re just unwilling to accept that because you feel guilt for not letting us know you were back.”   
“I know I should have now, but then I did what I thought was best. I don’t regret wanting the best for my girls.”  
“You still have a lot of grovelling to do by the way.” She pouted childishly.  
“Hot chocolate and those little marshmallow things?” he offered with a grin.  
“You betcha. I could do with some chocolaty goodness.”

 

Buffy resolved that she was going to make sure everything was out in the open this time. She did not want Spike to be her dirty little secret. She still was not fully sure exactly what she wanted him to be and what was possible with their complicated history. She was sure of one thing though. She couldn’t bear to lose him again and her friends, if they truly loved her would respect her decision. Buffy finally reached Slayer Central with Andrew trailing after her all the way. His fascination with Spike was bordering on obsession, and it took all her strength not to snap. What was more unsettling was that she felt like she should tell him to back off that Spike was hers. She shrugged off the impulse. Spike wasn’t gay, but then again vampires were known for sexual ambiguity. She laughed as soon as this thought quickly passed. Even if he was, Andrew was no competition after all. She was soon musing again realising she had referred to Spike as hers. Wow when did that happen? She told him he was her champion before but never hers. Buffy was still considering her relationship with Spike as they arrived in the door. Andrew took off in the direction of Giles’ office while Buffy was waylaid by some of her charges enquiring after her health. After assuring fellow slayers Satsu and Bianca that she was well rested, she walked quickly in the direction of her Watcher’s haven. I swear if Andrew has told Giles about Spike I will kill him. 

 

To be continued….


	7. The Truth will Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy feels betrayed when she realizes Andrew wasn't the only one keeping Spike's return from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS or profit from writing this story.

Chapter Seven: Truth will out

 

At the same time Buffy was arriving at Slayer Central, back at the Summers’ residence Spike and Dawn were deep in conversation. 

 

“So you two looked pretty cosy this morning,” Dawn probed.

 

“Nothing happened, not that it’s any of your business, you nosy bint,” Spike replied in a light tone.

 

“I’m worried about her, Spike. She hasn’t been the same since that day.” 

 

Spike met her worried eyes.

 

“Losing your home and town is bound to do that to you,” he pointed out. “You’re not the same either.” 

 

“It was losing you.” She glared at him, as if daring him to dispute the fact. “You’re just unwilling to accept that because you feel guilty for not letting us know you were back.” 

 

He couldn’t deny the truth of what she said. Still, he had his reasons, even if they were ill advised. He looked her straight in the eye, trying to show her the seriousness of his words.

 

“I know I should have now, but then I did what I thought was best. I don’t regret wanting the best for my girls.”

 

Her expression softened a little at that. She stared at him for a moment before she remembered she was mad at him. She glared half-heartedly at him and poked him hard in the chest. “This conversation isn’t over, buddy. You still have a lot of grovelling to do by the way.” 

 

He felt a weight lift at her words. She didn’t seem to be as angry as she probably should. He vowed he would make it up to both of his girls. 

 

He smiled conspiratorially. “How about hot chocolate and those little marshmallow things?” 

 

She took him by the arm. “You betcha. I could with some chocolaty goodness.”

 

After a very satisfying chocolaty snack, Dawn and Spike were exchanging stories about the things that happened in the time they had been apart. Once they had laughed themselves silly they lapsed into a comfortable silence. He looked at her, realizing how the girl he once knew had become a woman in his absence. How he had missed her. He noticed she was frowning slightly.

 

“Penny for your thoughts, pet.” 

 

She jumped startled and he chuckled.   
“Sorry, I was just wondering how Buffy’s interrogation is going? She was very nervous about it earlier.”

 

“I told her she could leave it a little longer if she wanted,” Spike confessed.

 

“Like she would have been able to keep that quiet with Andrew.” Dawn laughed.

 

“He’s kept the secret pretty well so far.” 

 

Dawn snorted and shook her head in disbelief. “There is no way Andrew would have been able to keep his mouth shut without spilling the beans to somebody, and my money is on Giles.”

 

Spike was about to protest that surely Giles would not have kept that from Buffy, but when he thought about it Dawn’s assertion seemed likely. When he asked Andrew to keep quiet, he hadn’t really believed he would. Both Giles and he had wanted to do what they felt was best for Buffy. He couldn’t really hold that against him when he had done the same, and he was more at fault.

 

“That makes sense, Bit,” Spike said finally. “Do you think Buffy knows?”

 

Dawn shook her head. “I expect she soon will. Either Giles or Andrew will slip. Let’s keep it quiet though in case we’re wrong.”

 

 

Buffy finally caught up to Andrew in Giles’ office and was surprised to see that Willow was there as well. Andrew was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. Both Willow and Giles turned to look at Buffy. 

 

Giles had a concerned look upon his face. “Andrew says you have something to tell us?” Buffy took a deep breath in order to gather up the courage to tell them about Spike. She needn’t have bothered though.

 

“Spike is back and living in Buffy’s house,” Andrew announced in a rush.

 

The young man had a wide grin on his face, and Buffy gave him a hard stare. 

 

“Good heavens! Spike is here!” Giles exclaimed, and just as Buffy predicted he took off his glasses and polished them furiously. 

 

“Wow, Spike back from the dead! How?” Willow demanded.

 

“Two nights ago, Spike turned up on my doorstep,” Buffy began. “It turns out he was brought back due to the amulet that Angel brought us from LA. There’s a lot more to it, obviously.”

 

“Do you think Spike would be amenable to telling me a little about his experiences?” Giles asked.

 

“I guess you would have to ask him yourself,” Buffy replied. She gave them the condensed version of Spike’s story. The story was not hers to tell after all.

 

“Good Lord,” Giles muttered finally when she finished. 

 

Willow threw her arms around Buffy and both women’s eyes were wet. They held each other for a few moments. Giles coughed politely. The women pulled apart much to Giles’ relief. He was always ill at ease with emotional displays.

 

“And Spike’s living in your house now?” Willow finally asked when she had composed herself.

 

Buffy rolled her eyes and glowered at Andrew again. “Spike is not living in my house.” 

 

“He stayed there last night,” Andrew said petulantly.

 

Giles started cleaning his glasses again. He caught Willow’s eye, and they exchanged a worried glance.  
“Buffy are you sure this is a good idea?” 

 

“Spike and I are not sleeping together. We just fell asleep together. I mean it was completely innocent.”

 

“She doth protest too much.” 

 

The idiot was smirking, and she really wanted to slap that look off his face. “You will get out, and go annoy somebody else, someplace else!” 

 

“Giles,” he whined.

 

“Andrew, just go.” Giles said impatiently. Andrew huffed but obeyed the older man. 

 

Buffy waited until she heard his furious steps could no longer be heard. “I don’t know what is going to happen with Spike and me,” Buffy said honestly. “All I know is that I want him to be part of my life.”

 

Willow bit her lip nervously. “You know I’m glad he’s back Buffy, but your relationship was never healthy.”

 

“It wasn’t even a relationship.” Buffy laughed hollowly.

 

“Exactly –” Giles began. 

 

Buffy held her hand up to cut him short. “I’m no longer a child. I’m an adult who can make her own decisions. I appreciate your concern, but any decision regarding my future can only be made by me.”

 

Giles looked sadly at the girl that was practically a daughter to him. She hated the look, part fear and part disappointment, and she really didn’t want to have to defend her choices anymore. She was a grown up after all. She decided she had to leave sooner rather than later before she lost her temper.

 

She looked at her watch finding the perfect excuse. “I’m supposed to have a training class.” 

 

“I’ll walk with you.” Willow took her arm. 

“He means well you know, and we’re just worried about you,” Willow continued, as soon as they were clear of Giles’ hearing.

 

Buffy smiled reassuringly at her worried friend.

 

“I know Wills but –”

 

“You love Spike,” Willow said with certain understanding.

 

“I think so,” Buffy whispered, and Willow squeezed her hand.

 

“Be careful,” Willow said. Buffy’s felt a sense of relief knowing at least one of her friends accepted it, and it meant a lot.

 

 

After Buffy was done for the day, she decided to head and see Giles once again. She hated fighting with him. As she neared the office, she could hear the sound of voices coming from within. She was about to walk away when she heard Andrew’s voice.

 

It’s only Andrew so it can’t be anything very important. 

 

She raised her hand to knock on the door when something Andrew said caused her to gasp.

 

“Buffy’s angry at me, and it’s not fair, Giles,” Andrew griped. “After all you knew about Spike being back too.”

 

“You can rest assured that Buffy is angry at me already,” Giles said irritatedly.

 

Buffy felt betrayed. It was bad enough for Spike not to tell her. Somehow for Giles to actively keep it from her was worse. She flung open the door. The handle came off in her hand because of her tight grip. The two men looked at the Slayer in shock.

 

“Yes, I was already angry with you,” she said addressing Giles. “Now, I’m furious.”

 

She turned to Andrew and he whimpered before she could say a word and fled out the door. She faced her old Watcher again.

 

“How could you not tell me?” Buffy asked coldly.

 

“It was Spike’s decision. He asked Andrew not to tell you, and when he told me of Spike’s return I decided to honour his wishes.”

 

“Since when have you ever worried about Spike’s wishes?” Buffy scoffed. 

 

“You are right Buffy,” he conceded. “Nevertheless, you should remember I only did what I felt was in your interest in keeping this from you, and if Spike had chosen before now to reveal his return I wouldn’t have done anything to prevent it.”

 

“Don’t make me choose between you? I chose him once, and I would do it again.”

 

“I know,” he said gently. “I’m not asking you to choose between us. I want you to think carefully before you get involved with him again. You managed to get by well enough these past months without him and he survived without you all this time too.”

 

Giles’ words were like a knife in her heart. She clenched her fists tightly. “I already told you once today that I want him to be part of my life. It took losing him to see just how important he is to me.” 

 

“Buffy, I am truly sorry for hurting you. I only wanted the best for you.”

 

“I can understand why he did what he did,” she said quietly. “I may be good at keeping my feelings locked away, but you could see I was hurting and you knew why. You knew he was back, and yet you never said a word.”

 

Buffy could feel the tears threatening to come and do she turned and ran out the door.

 

“Buffy,” she vaguely heard Giles calling. She ignored him and dashed through the building. All in her path quickly scampered out of her way and soon she was out the door of the building. She stopped for a minute by the tree at the entrance to catch her breath and compose herself. Tears were still threatening to fall and so the Slayer took off at full speed yet again. This time she did not stop until she arrived at her front door, and when she opened the door she walked straight into a hard chest. Spike took the distraught woman into his arms. It was only then that Buffy let herself go and really cried.

 

To be continued...


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike and Buffy have a very over due conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own this, just my plot.

Buffy didn't spend long crying in Spike's arms. She had been tearing up too much these last few days and Spike had seen enough of her red rimmed eyes. She quickly pulled away once she managed to compose herself. Her movement was so sudden that Spike was startled.

"Are you ok now, love?" he asked tentatively, afraid of overstepping his bounds as she had been so quick to pull away.

"Yeah. Thanks, Spike." She smiled gratefully at him.

Spike was just relieved that she was not pushing him away as she was wont to do.

"Do you want to talk about it, pet?" he asked.

Her smile faded. "It seems Giles and Andrew had been comparing notes regarding Andy's trip to Wolfram and Hart. Giles was under the impression that he was acting for the best. Just like you in fact."

She could not resist that last dig. Spike flinched just as she intended and she smirked satisfied. As she examined the vampire's face it occurred to her that he did not seem all that surprised by the revelation.

"Why are you not surprised?" 

Her eyes were narrowing and Spike knew there was no point lying. Buffy could always tell or maybe he was just rubbish at lying.

"I did not know exactly" he began, "but today I was thinking about how the boy could possibly keep all that secret without spilling his guts to someone."

He deliberately left out Dawn's part. He may not be much good at telling lies but lying by omission was another thing. She gave him a searching look but she left the topic be for the time being. The vampire was grateful for the reprieve.

Later that afternoon, Spike gazed out the window into the darkening sky. He realised reluctantly that he better go back to his hotel soon if he wanted to make sure he had a place to stay for the next few nights. He had only paid up until the following day after all. However, he was much too content to sit in Buffy's company instead. They were sitting comfortably in front of the television when Buffy's cell phone rang. Buffy pulled it out of her jeans pocket and glared at it. Spike suspected it was likely Willow or Giles. Buffy decided to ignore it and let it go to voicemail.

"Are you going to answer that, love?" Spike inquired.

"Obviously not" she said rolling her eyes, "but that reminds me."

She got up and grabbed a piece of paper from a drawer and scribbled something on it.

Spike raised his eyebrow quizzically, as she walked over waving the piece of paper.

"Did you write me a love letter, Slayer?" he grinned.

Buffy feigned a long suffering sigh and handed him the piece of paper.

"Not exactly a love letter" she said, "I just realised I never gave you my phone number."

"I'll write your number in my little black book." He rolled his tongue between his teeth. "Well actually it is not so little. I guess I am just popular with the ladies."

"Spike, you are so full of it." She laughed.

He winked in response and pulled out a small black cell phone and dialled the number on the paper. Buffy's phone rang twice and cut off.

"Now you have mine."

He was glad to see she seemed to have cheered significantly. He hated to see her in pain. The front door burst open and brought Spike out of reverie.

"Hey guys," Dawn called out. She was carrying what appeared to be take out and she placed the bags on the table

"Hello Bit," Spike said.

Dawn smiled knowingly noticing the close proximity between which her sister and her friend.

"I didn't interrupt anything, did I?" she asked.

"No you didn't," Buffy assured her.

"Honestly," Spike added when Dawn remained unconvinced.

"You brought dinner?" Buffy asked changing the subject.

"Yep," Dawn chirped happily, " I also rented some dvds from the video store. I thought we could have a movie night."

"Sounds good to me," Spike declared, and Buffy nodded as well.

"There is just one thing. Can I please invite Xander? " Dawn begged. "I'd feel a bit like a third wheel and would feel much better with somebody else there."

Spike looked at Buffy, trying to show no sign of discomfort.

"I don't see why not," Buffy answered. 

Dawn turned unexpectedly to Spike.

"Don't need my permission. It's your house and not mine!" Spike pointed out.

"Well you and Xander are not exactly best pals. "

Spike shrugged. "I might not like him but I think I can cope with his company of an evening if it makes my girls happy"

Dawn threw her arms around him happily.

"Let's eat before the food goes cold," Spike said a little gruffly once Dawn let go of him.

 

 

After they finished dinner, Dawn announced that she was going to head out for a little while and would drop in on Xander on her way back. Buffy and Spike were left alone once more. Buffy decided that now was the time for her to get some of her feelings off her chest. She turned to the vampire with an earnest expression.

"Listen Spike, for once I want to be open Buffy and I am a little scared, so don't you dare interrupt me." Buffy was unable to meet the vampire's eyes.

Spike nodded equally terrified. This was new territory for them both after all. While Buffy was still avoiding his eyes she took his hand into hers trying to impart the sincerity of what she was about to say.

"That year after I died, you were the only one that let me just be myself, and I think we could have been good friends then if we didn't..."

"shag each other's brains out," Spike finished with a bitter smirk.

"Yeah," she affirmed softly, "That's when things got real bad. But when you came back from Africa all souled up, I knew I had been wrong about you."

"Buffy.." Spike began.

"Sssh no interrupting. Buffy talk and Spike listen," she said punching his arm playfully. She met his eyes for the first time since she began the conversation.

"You are special, and not an evil thing. Our connection that year was the only reason I was strong enough to get through it all. I want that friendship back. Do you think we could be friends again?"

"We are friends." He squeezed her hand, affected by her words.

"Did we just have a conversation about feelings?" Buffy asked a little hysterically.

"I think so," Spike replied, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"You're not off the hook yet, mister," she reminded him.

To his horror Spike felt a lump in his throat. Buffy had never been this open about her feelings before. They both just sat there in silence for a few minutes. Unlike the comfortable silence they had experienced the night before this was more oppressive.

"I need to go back to my hotel and pay up for the next few days before they give my room away. I will be back in a bit."

"Do you want me to come with?" Buffy asked.

"Nah, love. I need a smoke and besides I won't be long."

Spike headed towards the door, but Buffy called him back. He turned around and she was right beside him.

"What I said in the Hellmouth.." she began.

Spike immediately raised his hand in a gesture to stop her.

"Please Buffy don't," he pleaded.

She ignored his protests. "I meant what I said that day. Maybe I was not in love with you like you were with me, but I think I could have been in time, and perhaps I still could be."

Hope blossomed in his chest. 

"Buffy, don't say things you don't mean. It's not fair."

"Dammit Spike. I'm not giving you a cookie dough speech or trying to placate you. I'm trying to be honest about how I feel."

"Cookie dough?" Spike asked in spite of himself.

"Never mind," Buffy snapped and turned punching the wall in frustration.

There a big dent in the wall she had smashed her fist through. Spike grabbed her hand and examined it carefully.

"What the hell do you think you are doing, Slayer?" he snarled. once he established that her hand was uninjured.

"Trying not to punch you," she retorted pulling her hand from his grasp.

Spike just stared at her for a moment and despite his irritation began to laugh. Buffy's lips began to quirk and soon they were both in stitches. When they recovered, Buffy was relieved that Spike's eyes were still dancing with amusement.

"See, I'm a new Buffy," she quipped.

"So I see," he replied.

"Yet, it's strange you're still the same dumbass vampire."

"Guilty as charged," he admitted.

"So, Mr. William the Bloody will you let me finish what I was saying?" 

He took a deep breath. "Go ahead. I am listening."

"You drive me crazy! You're an ass, insensitive and rude. I could go on ... Still for some reason I missed you, even the smell of your stinky cigarettes. I just need to tell you how I feel. I never thought I would get the chance. However, first I want to get to know you again as friends. I honestly don't know if we could be anything more what with our history and baggage. We certainly aren't ready yet, but I'd like to think that there is hope for us someday."

Spike couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

"Buffy, I don't know what to say," he confessed.

"Then don't say anything," Buffy whispered, "I just needed to tell you."

Spike leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the forehead.

"In the spirit of sharing, I still love you, Buffy Summers," he declared.

"Please, don't think I am asking you to wait for me," she insisted. "I want you to be happy, even if it is with somebody else."

He looked at her in awe. Buffy truly was an amazing woman. They stood there in silence for a few moments just looking at each other and smiling.

"So no naughty touching! Do you think you can handle that?" Buffy challenged him finally breaking the silence.

"The question is can you?" Spike replied, his eyebrows dancing suggestively.

Buffy slapped him on the arm.

"See, you're unable to keep your hands off me!" he joked, as he headed out the door. 

 

 

About a half an hour later, Dawn arrived back home along with Xander. Spike still hadn't returned.

"Hey Buff," Xander said, "where is the Bleached Wonder?"

"Out," Buffy announced. She noticed the crestfallen look on her little sister's face at her words and laughed.

"Relax, Dawnie. He had to go back to his hotel to pay for a couple of extra days. He will back soon."

"Do not call me Dawnie. I am not a kid anymore"

The Slayer ignored her sister's glares, while Xander laughed nervously.

They were interrupted by music coming from somewhere in the living room. Buffy excused herself and went into the living room. It took her a moment to realise that the sound of Sid Vicious was coming from Spike's cell phone which must have fallen down the side of the sofa. She picked it up and pressed it her ear.

"Hello, Spike's phone," chirped Buffy.

"Who are you?" a female voice on the line demanded.

Buffy was taken aback at being addressed like that and wondered jealously who this woman was.

"Buffy, Spike's old friend and who the hell are you?" she snapped.

"I do not answer to a low being like yourself, but for now I will humour you. I am Illyria, God-King and one of the Old Ones. Now get my pet. I wish to speak to him now."

"Your pet?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"Yes the white headed vampire is my pet and I wish to speak to him right away."

"That would be kind of hard as he's not here right now, but I'll pass on the message"

The phone suddenly cut off.

How rude, she thought and vowed to find out some more about this Illyria later when Spike returned. She returned to her sister and Xander, who were busy helping themselves in the kitchen.

 

 

It was another hour before Spike returned, and Buffy, Dawn and Xander were halfway through a game of Monopoly.

"Hi all," he greeted them. To his surprise Xander stood and shook his hand.

"Thanks," Spike said quietly, so that only Xander could hear. He was grateful that the man had given him the impetus to come clean and see Buffy.

Spike accepted the handshake, while Buffy and Dawn watched with delight and astonishment.

"Don't get used to it," Spike said bluntly to the girls who were still grinning.

"Just so you know, I still don't like you," Xander said to the vampire.

"Ditto," replied the vampire.

"You took your time" Buffy remarked, but there was no accusation in her words.

"Took a little longer than I expected and then bumped into some vamps on the way back," he explained.

He picked up the bunch of movie rentals that Dawn had picked up. He looked more and more downcast with each one.

"Harris, please help a bloke out here. The chits are looking to watch chick flicks. I'm in need of a bit of male solidarity, mate."

Buffy snorted and Spike narrowed his eyes at her.

"Spike, you love Passions," Dawn protested, "You're a total softie, when it comes to romantic movies. Besides Brad Pitt is hot."

"I am not watching a movie with Brad Pitt in it." Spike crossed his arms.

"You don't still have a grudge against him for starring in "Interview with the Vampire"?" Buffy laughed.

Spike opened his mouth furiously, when Xander interrupted.

"As much as I enjoy watching Spike being humiliated, I don't want to watch Brad Pitt either."

Spike looked smug as Xander came over and rifled through the dvds. After much deliberation and argument eventually the four decided on what to watch. The night passed pleasantly and it wasn;t until the film was almost over that Buffy remembered about the phone call earlier.

"Oh, I meant to tell you that you got a phone call, while you were out. Someone by the name of Illyria."

Spike looked at her in confusion. "Blue called me? That can't be anything good. Something must be wrong in LA. I better call Peaches." 

"Watch the rest of the film," Buffy insisted. "It can wait till morning. Besides, if it was that important they would have called again."

Spike looked down at Buffy, who was resting her head comfortably on his shoulder and decided she was right. He was here with Buffy and things were looking up for once. What she had told him earlier had made him deliriously happy. She hadn't made any promises, but she had let him in. Buffy wanted him around and she had admitted there was a chance for them. For the first time in a long while Spike held hope for the future.

 

To be continued...

 

End note:

I know I am very mean but I feel that Spike and Buffy have a lot to work through before they could work romantically which is why it did not feel right for them to jump into a relationship just yet.


	9. Chapter 9

Author’s note: In case you do not remember the character Gwen featured in this story, she was in the Season Three episode of Angel “Dad” and was the woman who was in the “Files and Records” department. There was also another more prominent character named Gwen Raiden but it is the first one that I am mentioning.

 

Chapter Nine

It had been over a month since Angel and his gang had defeated Wolfram and Hart and ruined Gwen’s life. Since the firm had fallen she had not heard from the company except to hear that they would consider her for a position if a vacancy opened up. She was not holding her breath though. Gwen was insulted. What did a half demon have to do anyway to secure a job. She had been indispensable to the firm as the link to all of their files. Once the Los Angeles branch was destroyed the link she had with all the files was terminated but she retained much of the information. She had plenty of money left from her lucrative pay package but she had become accustomed to a certain level of opulence that would not be sustainable if she did not get a well paid job soon. She left out a sigh as she opened the front door to her penthouse. Standing in the middle of her living room were three suited men. She managed to stifle a scream of shock before she regained her composure and reached for the door handle. The stockiest of the three was too fast however and grabbed her hand.

“Now we want to play nice,” he said in a non threatening manner as if he was trying to put her at ease. She was not convinced however. The man ushered her over to the sofa and motioned for her to sit down opposite his colleagues. Working at the law firm had taught her how to read people. She took the opportunity for the first time to really examine her “guests”. The stocky man was clearly the brawn while the silver haired man with the impeccably neat suit had to be the leader of the outfit and the younger looking bespectacled man his lackey. 

“What do you want with me?” she demanded.

“We know you worked for Wolfram and Hart and we would like to offer you a position” the silver haired man said, “You would be handsomely paid of course.”

“What makes you think I would be interested?” she snapped, “you broke into my flat after all!”

“We can offer you a job that will pay as well as your last job” the man explained. “We need information and we hear you have it in spades. Your expertise and information would be invaluable to us and you need a job in order to continue living in a place like this. It would be a mutually beneficial agreement.” 

Gwen simply shrugged in response. The man sighed. Clearly flattery was getting him nowhere or reason for that matter. It was time to try a new tack.

“We can also an opportunity to take some vengeance on a mutual enemy,” he offered with a knowing smirk.

“Who are you talking about?” she asked, her eyes narrowing.

“Angel!” the man spat. “He thinks he owns the city.”

“Why do you think I would be useful?” she asked.

“You used to work for him and considering your position you must have a lot of dirt on him. So are you interested?.”

“Yes. Tell me more,” she replied smiling for the first time that evening. 

******************

 

Back to present

The last couple of days had been like an emotional rollercoaster for Buffy Summers. Right now everything was good. Spike was back in her life again and there was rightness about that. Buffy smiled at her reflection and turned to leave the bathroom with the grin still on her face. She almost bumped into her sister in the doorway to the kitchen.  
“Buffy’s in love,” Dawn whispered in sing-song voice.  
“Shut up,” Buffy reproved her younger sister, “Spike and I are just good friends.”   
She was still smiling broadly, however, and “for now” she added in her head.  
“Sure yeah and I'm the Queen of England,” Dawn scoffed.  
Buffy shook her head laughing at her sister’s childish antics.  
“So tell me. What’s with the snugglies if you two are just friends then?”  
Dawn had her but Buffy was not about to give in.   
“I can’t help it if Spike’s flirtable,” she protested “and comfortable” she added thinking of the previous evening spent with her head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around her.  
Dawn seemed to grin even wider if possible and it was then that the slayer felt the unique tingle that signalled Spike’s presence.  
“Talking about me, girls” he leered and she turned bright red.   
“Conceited much” Dawn replied in a teasing tone.  
Spike looked fondly at his two favourite women and was struck by the domesticity of the scene. He may have lived in the basement that last year in Sunnydale, but this was a whole new level of intimacy. Back then there had been dozens of girls not to mention the ever constant presence of the Scoobies. This may not be his home but he felt at home for the first time since he had been a human really. He knew it was silly and he was being a bit of a nancy boy, but it was how he felt and he did not deserve one whit of it.   
“I have a hot date planned, kids, so you will have to excuse me. I need to get ready” Dawn said heading for the bathroom. 

The pair followed her up the stairs peppering her with questions.

“Ooh! Who’s the lucky guy?”   
“What! Who’s the fucking wanker?”   
Buffy and Spike spoke simultaneously as Dawn shut the bathroom door on her would be interrogators. They could hear Dawn laughing behind the door.

"Hey!" 

With a sigh, Dawn opened the door and she popped her head out.  
“His name is Thomas” she said, “Yes he's lucky and he's not a wanker. Now, go away, and leave me get ready in peace.”  
Buffy giggled as Spike still looked furious and pulled him into the living room.  
“What do you know about this Thomas bloke?” he asked, eyes narrowed.  
“Nothing. Dawn’s a big girl. I think she can handle a date and you're not going scaring away the first bit of fun she has had in a while.”  
Spike just growled something incoherently. Buffy rolled her eyes at his sulking as he paced the living room floor. It was rather sweet that he was being protective but Dawn would not thank him for it. Buffy was trying to think of something to distract Spike, before he decided to stalk Dawn and her date when the doorbell rang.  
“Is that him?” he asked, as Buffy opened her door only to find Rupert Giles and Willow Rosenberg standing there looking sheepish. Buffy let them in the door as Spike watched from the corner.   
“Spike,” Giles acknowledged coolly, once he spotted him which was expected. 

Spike returned the gaze and replied frostily, “Watcher.”  
Willow regarded him warmly and to his astonishment hugged him tight.  
“I'm glad you're back,” she said sincerely.   
“Good to see you too, Red,” he replied, still a little taken aback at the gesture.  
“Buffy, I'm sorry if I was a little tactless yesterday,” Giles said quietly. “I know things have strained between us of late, but I've only ever done what I thought was best.”  
Spike snorted but other three ignored him.   
“I know that, Giles," Buffy said quietly, "but I'm an adult and I would appreciate it if you would let me make my own decisions."

Buffy caught Spike's smug smile in the corner of her eye and decided he needed a reminder. 

She glared at both men in turn. "I'm sick of people deciding what is best for me and that goes for you too Mr-I-Won't-Even-Bother-Letting-You- Know-I-Survived-Burning-To-A-Crisp.” 

The vampire and man looked at their feet. 

“I think they are sufficiently scolded” Willow pointed out.  
Buffy tried hard not to smile.   
“I guess if I can forgive this peroxided dumbass, then I can forgive you too.” 

Giles smiled in relief and was quickly swallowed in a warm embrace.  
“I hate fighting with you Giles, even if you are a pain in the ass sometimes,” Buffy mumbled.  
“I really wish you would not use that word,” Giles complained. “You Americans have a knack of abusing the English language.”   
“You have got that right, Rupert,” Spike agreed. 

Buffy shrugged and turned to hug Willow as Giles headed in Spike’s direction.  
“Spike, a word if you please,” Giles asked quietly.   
“I don’t please, but I will give you one anyway.”

"Would you mind?" Giles gestured to the door.

Spike nodded, and the vampire and man went outside to speak privately.

“Hurt her again, and I'll finish what Wood and I started,” Giles said menacingly.  
“Wouldn't expect anything less, Rupert,” Spike replied much to Giles’ surprise.  
Giles didn't know what to say judging by his slack jawed expression.  
“How about we play nice for Buffy’s sake, old man.” Spike proposed, “We do not have to like each other just tolerate each other.”   
Spike held out his hand but Giles just looked at it. He was about to withdraw it when Giles’ warm hand met his cold one and they silently came to an understanding.

***********************   
The rest of the day passed quite happily and without incident. Dawn managed to sneak out on her date with Spike none the wiser. Buffy was relieved to have made her peace with the man that was better father figure to her than her real one had ever been. Spike for his part was just happy to see her in such good spirits. It was still too bright for Spike to head out and Buffy was complaining about the lack of quality on television.  
“How about a game of cards?” Spike suggested.  
“No way! You cheat!” she said, shooting his suggestion down.  
“I don't,” he lied and she simply looked incredulous.  
“Yes, I do,” he conceded, “but how about I teach Miss Goody Two Shoes to cheat?”  
“Hey, I'm not a goody two shoes,” she protested causing to Spike to roar with laughter.  
His phone rang interrupting their banter. He looked at the caller id before he picked it up.  
“Bloody hell! I meant to call the ponce earlier”.  
He had forgotten to return the phone call he had received from LA the previous day what with all the events of the day. He excused himself to take the call in another room.  
“This had better be important Captain Forehead,” Spike said, not happy that his time with Buffy was being interrupted.  
“Yes - it is damn important!” Angel snapped.   
“Where the hell have you been, and why haven’t you returned Illyria’s call?”  
“Been busy,” Spike answered, being deliberately elusive.  
“Alcohol, sex and blood! That's all you ever think about.” Angel's tone was snide.  
“And you don’t?” Spike retorted.  
“It’s Connor!” Angel blurted out.  
Spike could tell it was something bad. He'd grown quite fond of Angel Junior when they were working together in the aftermath of the LA’s relocation to a hell dimension.  
“What happened?” he asked.   
“He's missing,” Angel said in a dead voice, “He was last seen being bundled into a van and I'm worried. I need your help.”  
Spike knew it was serious when his grand sire was asking him for help.   
“I'll get back as soon as I can,” he promised. “We'll get him back Angel.” 

To be continued... 

So what did you think? Please let me know. 

 

Previous


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike and Buffy arrive in Los Angeles to help look into Angel's son's disappearance.

**Chapter Ten**

Spike's mind was going a mile a minute. What the hell had happened Connor? Where was he? Was he even still alive? He had to get back to Los Angeles but how to break it to Buffy when he had only been back in her life for such a brief time. His two girls were playing fish and despite the seriousness of his thoughts he was unable to refrain from rolling his eyes.

"Amateurs," he scoffed, "You know I never understood the point of that game. I mean if you want to go fish you go fishing. Poker now that is a card game".

Dawn snorted with laughter and Buffy smiled. Spike would be happy just to sit there and watch them all day but there were things that needed to be done.

"What is wrong?" Buffy asked noticing the look on his face.

"It's Connor, Angel's kid," he explained, "He's missing and I need to get back to Los Angeles to help find him."

Despite the circumstances Buffy felt an irrational pang of jealousy that he would rush away from her to go to Angel. Rationality quickly caught up with her.

"I want to come with you," Buffy said, "I want to help."

"I don't know if that is a good idea, pet."

"I can help. I can access resources that you don't have."

"Point taken, love," he conceded. Besides, he really would be glad to not have to be separated from her so soon.

*******************

Buffy was right of course and her contacts got them a flight later that day. A few hours later, Buffy and Spike disembarked the plane in good spirits. They had received first class treatment again down to Buffy's contacts and special provisions had been made for Spike. Their lighter mood shifted as they remembered the reason for the journey. It was in the Arrivals lobby that they saw the grim face of Angel. He looked awful. He obviously had not been getting enough sleep. Buffy hugged Angel tightly. Spike scowled in the background. When Buffy pulled away from Angel she spotted a woman with blue hair attired in a cat suit. She guessed that this must be Illyria. Both women looked each other up and down. Buffy decided that she didn't like her. This was the woman that had called Spike "her pet" and Buffy really did not like to think what that could mean.

"This is the famous Buffy Summers?" Illyria asked incredulously and when Spike and Angel simply nodded in response she turned to Buffy.

"You are a lot smaller than I expected," the god king said with the look that clearly said that the slayer did not come up to scratch. Buffy bristled at that. It was official she hated her now. .

"Oh I am a hell of lot stronger than you think I am!" Buffy responded indignantly. A bemused Spike put his hand on her shoulder. She shook his hand off.

"You wish to fight me!" Illyria remarked clearly not intimidated in the slightest with a prospective tussle with a slayer, "A tiny woman with superpowers is no match for Illyria God King!"

Buffy could tell that Spike was amused and this only increased to irritate her further.

"Now is not the time, love," he whispered in her ear and she felt like a total bitch as she realised that this was the last thing that Angel needed. Angel was walking ahead of them now and Buffy gave Spike an apologetic smile and quickened her pace in order to catch up to Angel.

"Sorry" she said, "for that and for Connor as well!"

He didn't speak just nodded. He looked so broken. She had never seen him look so lost or desolate before. She didn't know what to say so she settled for just matching his long strides and following him to the car park. Spike and Illyria followed on behind. Buffy couldn't help but feel a little satisfied when she caught Spike's eyes following her intently even though he was talking animatedly with Illyria. She still had it even when was a super hot god in a catsuit around. Sleazy bitch calling Spike pet! From what Spike had told her Illyria was not human so she could slay her but she guessed now would not be a good time with disappearance of Connor to solve. Maybe later.

Once they arrived at Angel's office he filled them in on the events. There had been a number of disappearances in the demon world in recent months.

"Initially I thought that there were turf wars between different demon factions but it soon became clear that seemed to be no definitive pattern," Angel explained, "In some cases there could have been weeks of planning and others seemed like chance abductions. In all cases they have disappeared without a trace. No bodies were found and there are very little clues to lead us anywhere."

Buffy swore and Spike chuckled appreciatively. She glared at him.

"Boy has a point," Angel said with a weak smile, "You never swear. Spike's obviously rubbing off on you!"

Spike leered at her wickedly and blushed but refrained from making an inappropriate remark for once. Buffy guessed that Spike was practising restraint considering the situation. It was most unlike her vampire. She would file it away as a future bargaining chip. She always found it funny that Spike would do almost anything to save his reputation despite the fact that it had been shot to pieces a long time ago. Her mother had once advised her that a man's ego was a fragile thing and never was that more true than in the case of William the Bloody.

"Have you spoke with any witnesses?" Buffy asked.

"All I know is that there was a big black van that he was bundled into. The witness did say that they looked human but that doesn't mean anything."

"Could they have been human?" Spike asked and Buffy could see a feral glint in his eyes.

"Could be but it still does not leave us any the wiser." Angel shrugged.

Spike and Buffy looked at each other both coming to the same conclusion.

"The initiative," they whispered in unison.

"Army types," Spike explained as Angel looked perplexed. "Those were the blokes that stuck that piece of metal in my noggin."

Spike didn't really want to tell what other things that they did to him or what they could be doing to Connor right now. He knew from the look on her face that Buffy was thinking the same thing.

"I think that we should see if Riley can help us out," Buffy suggested much to Spike's consternation.

"What?" Spike exploded, "Are you bonkers? That is like inviting the Big Bad Wolf in for tea!"

"I trust him," she answered evenly, "He's never given me reason to believe anything else."

"What about when you found him with two bit vampire whores sucking him?" Spike retorted. Angel really was not in the mood for their bickering when there were much more important matters like Connor to think about.  Yet, he couldn't muster the energy to tell them off.

"That was different and who are you to cast aspersions and make judgements?" Buffy snapped.

"I don't trust soldier boy and what the hell do you still have his phone number for?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and turned to Angel.  "Riley is the best chance we have. He is a good guy if a little misguided. He may not like demons but he would not be involved in kidnapping a human."

Spike and Angel rarely agreed on anything but one thing and one of the few was that they disliked Riley. However, if Riley was their only option then Angel would seize it. He needed all the help that he could get.

"Call him," Angel said.

"But.." Spike began but was quickly cut off.

"Shut up Spike!" Angel said in a tone that brooked no argument.

Spike shook his head in disbelief at their stupidity. If Riley found out that Dawn was or is a magical key then she would be in danger as well. If they wanted Connor to experiment on then what would they do with a potential key to dimensions? Spike swore he would not let that happen.

To be continued...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! Please review! It makes me happy.


	11. Plans afoot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Riley and Spike glare at one another, Angel mopes and Buffy has to keep it all together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own but I enjoy playing.

Chapter Eleven: Plans Afoot

Spike was interrupted in his furious musings by a knock on the door.

"Come in," Angel called and in walked Charles Gunn.

"No news I am afraid, Angel!" he said to a despondent Angel who sighed. It was then Gunn noticed Spike and Buffy.

"Good to see you man," he said embracing Spike like a brother which surprised Buffy. Obviously, they were good friends. Buffy had never really thought about Spike having friends before except for Clem of course. Buffy could see that Spike had built himself a life here in Los Angeles and it hurt. Spike could live well enough without her. Her friends did not like him and never had treated him with respect. No wonder he did not tell her he was back. He was respected here. This was quite confusing. Normally Spike was the one on the outside looking in and she was the one who belonged.

"Gonna introduce me to the lovely lady?" Gunn said to Spike, who immediately obliged.

"Buffy, this is Gunn, and Gunn, this is Buffy"

Gunn shook her hand warmly.

"I have to head out" Angel said excusing himself, "Buffy can you make that call right away?"

"Yeah," she replied to his retreating back and quickly excused herself to the two remaining men and followed Angel out the door.

"Angel wait!" she called as he walked away. He stopped but didn't turn around.

"We will get him back, Angel," she promised as she caught up with him.

"I wish I could truly believe that," Angel said quietly.

"Don't give up," she said, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"I am not giving up," he snapped, "You don't understand what it is like. I will never give up."

"Sorry, Angel. I didn't mean it like that."

"I know, Buffy," he said more softly this time.

Buffy just watched helplessly as he walked out the door. She desperately wanted to make it better for him but there was nothing she could do. She headed back to the room and could hear Gunn and Spike taking amicably. She was about to open the door when the topic of conversation turned to her.

"So that is Buffy, huh?" Gunn asked.

"Yeah that's her, the not so one and only Slayer anymore!"

"She is a hottie," Gunn said. "I can see what you and Angel see in her. What I can't make out is what she sees in the Fang Brothers?"

"Hell if I know what she saw in Captain Forehead, but I'm a right handsome bastard! What can I say; the girl's got taste."

Buffy laughed and pushed open the door. Spike caught her eye and she knew he had been aware of her presence at the door. She blushed a deep shade of red. Damn vampire. It was not just his vampire senses but he always seemed to see things others didn't. Why couldn't he be all non-observey like most men? Gunn was grinning at the blush on her face and Spike was looking smug.

Buffy decided that she would quickly engage in topic change. "You boys are going to take me out to dinner, but first I have to make a phonecall."

"Buffy-" Spike began.

"Don't start Spike," she warned him."I have to do this."

"Fine," he conceded ungraciously. "I'm heading out for a drink first. Charlie, are you coming?"

"Be back in an hour," Buffy said, "I'm starving"

Spike nodded much to Gunn's chagrin. Spike headed out the door in a huff his black duster trailing impressively after him which was the intention obviously. Nobody could throw a better strop than her Spike. Gunn was still standing there with an odd look on his face.

"What?" Buffy asked impatiently.

"I like you!" Gunn headed out the door after his friend leaving Buffy slightly puzzled. Now she had to get back to the job at hand. This was going to be fun.

**********************

 

Riley had been only delighted to hear from Buffy and assured her that he could be there the following day. Buffy was surprised that Riley was able to get away so early, but Riley was true to his word and the following evening they were all gathered once again in the office. It was good that Gunn was there as you could cut the tension with a knife. Spike had been sulking for the last twenty four hours that neither Buffy nor Angel would listen to his list of reasons why Riley should not be involved. His mood had not improved either. Spike and Riley were glaring at each other. Angel was lost in his own thoughts and Buffy was just trying to think of way to break the uncomfortable silence. She looked at Gunn for ideas but it seemed he was just as uncomfortable as she was.

"So three exes in the same room," Buffy muttered under her breath. "This is not awkward at all." That was another reason she was glad that Gunn was there. She felt less like a slut. She had only slept with most of the men in the room and not all of them. She left out an unintentional giggle at that last thought. The whole room turned to her in surprise and she decided she better get the meeting underway. Angel was clearly and understandably distracted while Spike and Riley were trying to outstare each other. This had been her idea so she would embrace her inner general.

"Let's get down to business," she said firmly banging her hand on Angels desk in an effort to gather their attention. She managed to gather their attention alright, although she also managed to knock over a really expensive looking statue. This really was not her day, but it worked because all of them were looking at her in a bemused way. She quickly picked up the statue and cleared her throat.

"Riley, I have given you the cliff notes on Connor's disappearance but maybe Gunn could give you the full lowdown. We think the Initiative's behind it. Have you heard anything at all?"

"I really haven't heard about any projects in LA." Riley said apologetically, "I said as much on the phone. I'm willing to help out where I can and if I do hear anything at all then you'll be the first to know."

There was an audible snort from a scowling Spike.

"Thanks Riley," Buffy said meaning it.

"Hypothetically, if there was a base in LA, have you any idea where they might be?" Angel asked. This was the first sentence to come out of his mouth since Riley arrived. Riley shook his head.

"Looks like we are back to square one." Spike's scowl deepened. "Asking Farmboy was a waste of our time!"

Buffy clenched her fists in effort to rein in her temper. She took a deep before turning to Spike. 

"Riley may not know anything yet, but as he said he is here to help and we need to take any help we can get," Buffy pointed out.

He said nothing and she knew he was listening even if he didn't agree. They really didn't have time for jealous vampire histrionics. She focused on the task in hand and vowed to talk to Spike later.

"Gunn, how about you fill in Riley in?" Buffy proposed. 

She didn't think that Angel was up to it and she and Spike had only been there since the day before so Gunn was the logical choice.

"Angel, can I talk to you?" she asked.

****************

 

Spike could see Buffy was occupied with Peaches and decided it was time to have a chat with Captain Cardboard.

"Hey man, how about we go somewhere a little less populated?" Gunn proposed to Riley.

However, Spike followed them out the door which kind of defeated the purpose of leaving.

"Don't worry not following. I just want a quiet word alone with Soldierboy here," Spike said.

"Okay, but there better not be any bloodshed," Gunn conceded and continued on this way.

"I don't really want to talk to you Spike," Riley said impatiently.

"Tough because I want to talk to you," Spike said in a deadly tone, "If I find out that you have something to do with this I will kill you and I promise it will hurt."

"Are you threatening me?" Riley asked incredulously.

"You know my noggin's chip free these days," the vampire continued threateningly.

"You know you ought to be careful because if it does turn out that the Initative is gathered in LA then you might just end up back inside. You forget I have a lot of powerful contacts."

"Yeah is that so?" Spike responded nonchalantly. "And if I wanted I could just rip your throat open."

Spike grinned and turned around leaving Riley speechless in his wake. He headed back into the office where Angel and Buffy were talking.

"I could get Willow to come and do a locater spell."

"No point already tried that!" Angel said.

Buffy and Spike were taken aback. If a locater spell failed then it must mean that they must be using magic somehow or maybe that Connor was already dead.

"Willow's really powerful though." Buffy's voice shook a little. "Maybe we should ask her to try anyway?"

"Since when did the Initiative mess with hocus pocus?" Spike asked Buffy.

Neither of them voiced the fear that they were sure Angel was feeling. It was unlikely that Connor would be kidnapped just to be killed. If that were true then magic must be involved. Was it really the Initiative that they were dealing with? Perhaps they had it all wrong but all the clues seemed to lead to them. If the Initiative were messing with the magics then they were even more dangerous. There had been times when it had served them well but many others when it had gone wrong. If Willow had been lured into Dark Magic then what could it do to a bunch of mad scientists and dumb soldiers?

To be continued..


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I still don't own Buffy, Spike and co.

**Chapter Twelve**

It had been a couple of days since Buffy and Spike had joined Angel in his quest to find his missing son. Nevertheless, they were no further along with their investigation. Angel was getting restless and more and more broody. Spike, for his part, was dying to kill something. Standing there just looking at books was not his cup of tea. He knew that Buffy felt the same. Maybe patrolling tonight might help. There was another way of letting off steam that he could think of, but that wasn't going to happen any time soon. Soldier Boy had been no help so far, but he had promised to dig around for some information. Riley was leaving this evening, although he would keep them apprised of the situation. Spike would happy to see the wanker gone, but it was a pity he couldn't have been useful while he had been around at least.

Buffy was seeing Riley out to his cab when the topic of Spike came up. She had been expecting it, so it came as no surprise.

"So are you still seeing Spike?" Riley asked with a look of disgust on his face. Buffy was much too good for the likes of that peroxide pest as far as he was concerned. Buffy rolled her eyes in irritation, but she answered him all the same.

"Not that it is any of your business but no." She paused for moment and when she spoke again it was softly. "I don't think that I ever really was seeing him, but we are good friends."

Riley snorted. If those two were not sleeping together again yet then it would not be long, considering the moon eyes they were making at each other.

"What?" Buffy asked annoyed.

"You could have fooled me!" Riley replied snidely.

"Well as I said already, it really is none of your business, Riley," Buffy said in a voice of forced calm.

Chastened, he sighed. "Sorry, Buffy, I just worry about you!"

"There is no need.  I'm more than capable of looking after myself."

She gave him a small smile and he returned the gesture as he sat into the taxi.

"Riley!" she called.

 He rolled down his window.

"Thanks for coming," she said. "We really appreciate the help."

"I will keep you posted." He grinned and rolled the window down.

Buffy watched while the car sped into the distance. As she walked back into the building she could see the amber glow of a cigarette just outside. She could just about make out Spike's profile in the darkness.

"Hey," she said greeting him.

"Is Whitebread gone yet?" he asked, hopefully.

"What is your problem, Spike?" Buffy rounded on the vampire. "We have more important things at stake here than your pissing contest with Riley." She was so sick of the male posturing. Why was she always surrounded by jealous, insecure men?

"I really don't trust the wanker!" Spike gritted his teeth. "And what if he finds out about the Bit? He knows too much already. Buffy, don't you see that if the Initiative are behind kidnapping Connor, then what do you think they would do with Dawn? Glory wanted to bleed her dry and twirl her in a lock. Those bastards have a real bloodlust and they got their rocks off experimenting on demons. They won't care that she's human."

Spike could see the shock in her eyes. It had been the last thing on her mind. She opened her mouth to protest, but no sooner had she opened her mouth then she shut it again. She could see that he was had a point about Dawn being in danger, but she couldn't believe that Riley would ever intentionally put Dawn in danger.

"We need to bring her here," Buffy muttered, "She would be safe." She reached for her cell. 

"No this is the last place she needs to be." Spike spoke softly looking into her eyes, "We would only be drawing attention to her. She's better off going to her classes, as normal. Besides, I've asked the others to keep a close eye on her"

"You did, huh?" Buffy asked angrily, "Clearly you have been thinking about this before and yet you never thought of letting me know." Her eyes glittered dangerously but he grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"Didn't see the point in worrying you unnecessarily, love. I figured you had enough to be getting on with."

Her irritation with the vampire abated, as she took in what he said. He was right, of course.

"Point taken," she admitted. Her anger was so close to the surface these days and the seeming hopelessness of the situation was not helping. The vampire was still smirking at her admission.

"Don't get used to it!" she warned. "Vampires are meant to be wrong, not right!" She reached for the cigarette in his mouth before flinging it on the ground and stood on it.

"Hey!" Spike yelled. "I was not finished with that."

"Just in case you forget who's boss," Buffy quipped. "Let's go patrol! I don't feel like smelling like an ashtray for the night."

"Now you're talking, sweetheart.  Beat up some more demons and we might just get lucky. Some big bad must have some information on what's chasing them out of LA."

"We tried it already, Spike." she reminded him.

 He shrugged his shoulders.  "But it beats doing nothing."

**To be continued..**


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise.

**Chapter Thirteen**

Time was marching on and there had been no luck with finding any further clues about Connor's disappearance. Buffy was growing impatient. A little over a week had passed since Spike and Buffy arrived in Los Angeles. _Where could he be?_ The demon bars were usually a treasure trove of information, but no amount of beating on demons was getting them anywhere. Angel was getting drunk in an attempt to numb the pain and Gunn was busy babysitting the distraught vampire. So, it was down to Spike and Buffy to keep a watchful eye out for the elusive villains. They were following a similar path every night. At this point they were on their third graveyard of the night. Buffy scanned the vicinity. The moon was full and the stars were out. It was almost romantic except they weren't a couple and they were both looking for spot of violence. The usual trouble spots were quiet lately and this patrol was no exception. She could sense Spike's frustration at the lack of action. He needed something to pummel and she could empathise. She wished there was something they could go on. However, all they had at this point was conjecture. How could they rescue Connor when they had no clue where to begin? Buffy was starting to think that the case was hopeless. She couldn’t imagine what Angel must be going through. God forbid she lost Dawn, she would be a mess. They had to solve this and the sooner the better. She wracked her brain for an idea. Suddenly, it hit her.

Buffy bit her lip and turned to the vampire. "I think we should see if Willow can help."

Spike shrugged. "Peaches already used mojo and it was no help."

"We have to try. They could be doing anything to that kid."

"You're right, love.”  He sighed.  Ring Red in the morning. She could be here by the weekend."

Buffy smiled at him. She was glad he agreed. Maybe this was this would provide the luck they so desperately needed.

 

 

The following evening Buffy made the call to Willow. Willow answered her cell almost immediately. "Hello."

Buffy smiled.  It was nice to hear the sound of her friend’s voice. "Hey, Will!"

"Oh Buffy, any luck with finding Angel junior?"

"No." Buffy worried her lip. "We think there might be something magical going on. We have tried locater spells and no luck but we could use your mojo."

Buffy held her breath while she waited for Willow's response.

"Of course, I would be glad to help."

"Thanks, Will. Any apocalypses at Slayer Central?"

Willow laughed. "No hellgods or First Evils present, Buff. But you really shouldn't tempt fate. Especially when you're us!"

"Good. So, how is Dawn?"

"She's great. In fact, our little Dawnie has a date."

At least somebody was getting on with their life. "Give her my best."

"I will. Speaking of dating. Tell me have there been smoochies with Spike yet?"

"Willow!" she admonished. "There is nothing going on between me and Spike."

Willow snorted. "Oh yeah, and there is no sparkage there."

"Well, nothing going on yet anyway," Buffy admitted.

"Hah, I knew it!"

Buffy sighed. "I can't just jump into something with him. Last time that was a world of bad!" Maybe it would be good to have a girl friend to share her confusing feelings about the vampire?

"-and a world of hot sweaty sex," Willow added, wickedly.

Buffy revised that thought. "Yeah there was that, but I’m not sure we can make it work.  And the last thing we should be worrying about right now is my sex life."

"Look, I won't push you anymore. But Buffy if you love him, you should go for it! As soon as I get off the phone, I am going to try and get flights sorted."

"Thanks, Willow. See you soon!"

Buffy hadn’t realised how much she had missed her friend until she spoke with her. It felt strange to hear Willow encouraging her to be with Spike. It wasn’t something that she had ever imagined happening. Not that she should really be thinking about her relationship with Spike at the moment. They had more important things to be thinking about. She felt the familiar tingle at the approach of the aforementioned vampire and couldn’t help the excitement in the pit of her belly at his imminent arrival. They were planning on patrolling tonight as usual, but maybe they could get some sparring in first. They had a few hours to kill before dusk after all.

 

 

Later that night, Spike and Buffy were patrolling again. Spike could see that Buffy was a bit more cheerful than the night before. He imagined it was down to the news that Willow was getting the next available flight. Spike really didn’t think it would do much good but they had to try. He smiled, thinking about the good sparring session they just had before leaving. Her reflexes were as superb as he remembered and he was hard by the end of it. The woman would be the death of him again. Spike was brought out of his musing by the sound of the slayer's voice. "Hey, Spike!"

Buffy motioned to the left and Spike turned his gaze to what looked like a scuffle up ahead. There were a group of soldier types clad in black grappling with a vampire and shoving him into the back of a black van. The slayer was off like a bullet and Spike was right behind. Buffy was on the back of one of the men before the soldier had time to spot her. Spike grabbed the other man, who tried to pull a gun on him. Spike took the gun from his hand and whacked him with it. Spike watched satisfied, as the man slumped unconscious. When he came-to, they may finally have some answers and he turned to help Buffy, who was having a bigger challenge.

"Lady, what do you think you are doing?" the man yelled.

Buffy responded by grabbing the man's neck. "We want to know what you are up to nabbing demons off the street?"

Spike flashed some fang. "You had better answer, mate. She's no lady!"

Sure enough the "lady" knocked the man over, and turned to back to her vampire. "There was only enough room for one lady in our relationship!"

Spike grinned. "Touché!"

With a grin, she turned back to the man. She was a vision when she was fighting- fierce yet beautiful. He hardly had time to think before suddenly two other men came out of nowhere surrounding him. Spike swung a foot to connect with the head of the nearest man. There was a satisfactory crunching sound, but Spike didn’t have time to check out the damage he had inflicted. The man got in a lucky hit and he hit the ground hard. The men had to be superhuman, but he couldn’t smell any demon on them. _They’re bleedin’ fast! These men are clearly not your average GI Joes._ Buffy and Spike took up the familiar formation of back to back. He really missed this. They fought like a seamless team, each knowing how to predict the others moves. Spike head butted the brown haired man, who held Buffy. The man dropped the slayer awkwardly on her ankle and she hit her head off a boulder where she fell. Spike vamped out in anger but as he descended on the soldier, his feet were swept out from under him. One of the soldiers he had felled earlier came from behind him. Spike pulled himself to his feet and saw that Buffy had done the same. "You okay, love?"

"Fine. Let's kick some ass!"

Spike raised a brow. He could not see how she could possibly fight well considering the condition she was in, but he knew better than to say it. Their attention was drawn by the arrival of a rather eccentric looking woman.

She wore an orange dress and a matching feather boa, and she was immaculately groomed. "Well, look who we have here- the slayer and her vampire toy!"

Spike had an ominous feeling. He could smell the power emanating off this woman. _Magic! I hate magic!_ His feeling was justified when the woman threw some powder in the air and everything went black. _Bloody hell! I can't see a thing!_

"Witch!" He snarled, feeling around blindly. He needed to find Buffy. She knew she was close but her couldn’t smell her. He took a big sniff and still there was nothing. Perhaps, it wasn't only his sight that was impaired but all his senses.

"Buffy, where are you?"

"Spike!" She called somewhere from his right. "What’s going on? I can't see a thing."

He followed the sound of her voice. "Me either. That bint was some powerful witch! What sort of magic can blind a vampire in the dark?"

He almost knocked her over when he finally reached her. He caught her by the upper arms.  She gave a little laugh.

"Sorry, love." She was steady now but he did not remove his hands. The unmistakeable sound of the van engine running ruined the moment and brought them back to reality.

"Fuck, they’re escaping."

Buffy shoved him gently. "Get off me and run after them. I’m feeling a little woozy but I’ll be fine."

The darkness was starting to clear and he ran in the direction of where the van was. However, it was too late. Spike watched helplessly as the van sped off in the direction of the other side of the town. He returned his wary eyes to the injured slayer. She had a large gash on her head and blood was streaming down the side of her face.

"Fuck, Buffy. You are bleeding like a stuffed pig." He pulled her to her feet. She was a little unsteady. He put a hand out to steady her, but she shook it off. "You must have sprained your ankle as well. You shouldn’t be walking on that."

"I’m fine." She was gritting her teeth though and he was careful to keep close to her in case she stumbled. He felt a little hurt at her dismissal, but he knew the real reason was the escape of the soldier types.

"Let's get you out of here before your blood attracts the whole vampire population of L.A."

Buffy stumbled on stubbornly for another five minutes before she stopped.

"Give me a piggy back!" Buffy looked sheepish. "Now, don't look so satisfied with yourself!"

Spike could not help but grin though, as the small blonde jumped on his back and threw her arms around his neck.

"Comfortable, love?"

"Damn right! Ride on Florence!" She groaned. "Sorry, bad choice of words."

"That's what's called a Freudian slip," he joked.

"Shut up, you pervert!" She whacked him hard on the ass.

When they arrived back at Angel's, they were met with silence. It seemed Gunn and Angel were out for the night.

He put down on the doorstep. "Let's get you clean."

"Can you stop fussing over me for a moment and call Gunn or something?"

"Pardon me for caring, luv! Besides, telling them this won't change anything. We’re no closer to finding Angel Junior than we were this morning."

She squeezed his hand.  "Maybe, but I would still feel better if you did."

"Right, then!" He picked up the phone and called Gunn's cell. By the time Angel and Gunn returned, Buffy had been sufficiently mothered. She rolled her eyes and complained, but the truth was that it was nice to be cared for. Spike really was a softie.

To be continued...


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry everyone. It's been way too long. I have several works in progress on the go and I have been suffering from some writer's block. Hopefully, this will open up the floodgates a little. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Chapter 14

It was two days later when the reinforcements arrived. The Slayer was waiting at the terminal for Willow to arrive when she caught sight of the red head. It was only after Willow waved at her enthusiastically, that Buffy saw that she wasn’t alone. Xander Harris gave her a grin as he headed towards her. Buffy walked to meet them with a huge smile on her face. They needed all the help they could get and more friendly faces the better, as far as she was concerned.

She hugged Willow warmly. "Your witchy powers are so welcome right now."

Willow smiled widely at her. "This witch is at your disposal. Just say jump and I'll say aye ma'am."

Xander gave a little chuckle adding, "I'm just the zeppo."

"No, Xander, you're not the zeppo. You're Mr Construction." Buffy turned to him hugging him tightly. "I wasn't expecting you."

"Jeez, Buffy, watch my ribs." Xander winced, and Buffy loosened her hold.

"Sorry." She ginned sheepishly. "I'm so glad to see you both."

 

The journey back to Angel's was lively as the three caught up on news. Buffy was informed that Dawn was busy with assignments from university, and Andrew was annoying Giles with a camcorder for some reason. It felt good for her to have her own friends about. She had been made feel really welcome, but she couldn't forget Spike had made his home here without her. Besides, there was a real feeling of gloom about the place. They weren't much closer to finding Connor, and Angel was spending hours cooped up brooding. Naturally, it wasn't the most upbeat of places. Sometimes, she wondered if she should talk to him about it, however, she realised it wasn't her place anymore. There was this distance between them that she couldn't penetrate anymore. Perhaps, it was just down to Connor's disappearance or maybe it was something else. This was the first time in years they had spent this much time together after all. Although, she would always care deeply for him, she didn't really know him anymore, and he her. Maybe Spike was right and they could never be friends. That was a sad thought and she resolved to try and talk with him and see if they could prove Spike wrong. After all, Angel always enjoyed proving Spike wrong.

 

The following morning Buffy and Willow decided to do a little shopping. It had been all work and no play for the last couple of days, and the beautiful morning afforded them the opportunity to head out and have some much needed girl talk. The sun was shining down and the two women decided that a walk in the park would be just the place to relax before they headed back the male dominated hotel.

Willow sat herself down on a bench and patted a space alongside her gesturing for Buffy to sit also. "So tell me, Buffy, have you and Spike been making with the smoochies?"

Buffy rolled her eyes as she sat. "This is hardly the place or the time, Will. Angel's son is missing and we're here to help in case it slipped your mind."

"Maybe so," Willow conceded. "But I think it's time for some girl talk. We haven't talked about relationships and stuff since we were teenagers. Just because I'm not into men doesn't mean I'm not interested in Buffy."

Buffy fluttered her eyelashes seductively. "I'm very flattered and all but sorry, Will, you're not my type."

Willow's face went as red as her hair as she realised exactly what she said. "You know what I mean, Buffy's love life not to be Buffy's love life."

Buffy laughed at her friend. Willow looked thoughtful for a moment. "And Satsu was?"

It was Buffy's turn to go red now. "That was-"

Both women giggled uncontrollably. Once they recovered, Buffy spoke again. "God, you're right. It's been ages, but I don't think you want to know about me and Spike. That's best left undisturbed."

Willow put on her best resolve face. "Try me."

Buffy shook her head. "I don't know. I'm afraid I guess. Whenever I let go, really let go, I end up hurt. After I slept with Angel he turned Mr Homocidal Stalker, then I had an ill-conceived one night stand with an asshole, and there was that whole year of badness but really great sex with Spike."

"What about Riley?" Willow looked questioningly at her. "I know that ended badly but you were happily sexing it up from what I remember."

Buffy thought back to that doomed relationship. "Having sex with Riley didn't lead to badness." She paused for one moment. "Hang on-except for that one time."

"Consider me reminded." Willow flinched at the memory of the sex-athon at the frathouse.

With the benefit of hindsight, Buffy could see how doomed the relationship was. "You know Riley was right. I never left myself go with him. He did care more for me than I for him. I think I was in love with the idea of having that normal life, the one that Angel left me for."

Willow smiled reassuringly at her. If she was uncomfortable she gave no indication of it. Buffy wondered if maybe she had underestimated the red head in the past.

"What about Angel?" Willow asked.

"I guess I got over Angel without even noticing it. Just before the battle I told him to wait for me maybe someday I'd be ready. It wasn't till I lost Spike that I realised it really Spike that I wanted."

"You do realise this whole friends things is not going to work. No sane guy is going to come near you with Spike hanging off you, and what would you do if Spike had some hottie giving him the come on? Are you going to swear a vow of chastity and go around pretending to be friends for the rest of your lives? Buff, life's too short. Love hurts but it's worth the risk."

Buffy shook her head. "I'm not ready. We have too much baggage and right now we have to concentrate on saving Connor." The simple truth was that Spike could wait; Connor couldn't.

Spike was happy to have two extra pairs of hands on the case even if they were Harris and Red. Red's mojo could be helpful and Xander could collect the doughnuts. Research would be easier that's for certain. Spike was far from stupid and was well educated but he preferred to leave the detective work to others. Give him a brawl any day; He was more at home with his fists and fangs right now. It was like being back in Sunnydale again. He looked around the room; Willow was sitting at the computer, while Buffy and Xander were hitting the books. He couldn't help suppress a grin at Buffy's lack of attention to the reading material. She was filing her nails and making delicious little sighs. She hadn't turned the page of the heavy tome in front of her for the best part of a half an hour. Unable to sit still any longer, he wandered over to where the red headed witch was sitting.

"Any luck?" he asked Willow.

She groaned as she tore her eyes away from the screen. "No, we're not finding anything."

He jerked his head over to where Buffy and Xander were sitting amongst piles of books. "I doubt the books are going to help any with this."

"You're just jonesing to get out there again." Willow smiled up at him. "Maybe it won't help with finding them but it could help with the magic part?"

Spike shrugged in response.

He heard Buffy's sigh of impatience from the other side of the room. "A little help over here, Spike."

He caught Willow's smug grin as he turned around. Yes, he was whipped and he was okay with that.

 

 

After two hours of fruitless research Spike decided enough was enough. If he had to read this rubbish then so did Angel. Besides, it wasn't doing Peaches any good to be cooped up sulking. Spike threw open his grandsire's bedroom door and was surprised to see a large amount of files and stacks of paper littering the usually pristine room.

"Did you ever hear of knocking?" Angel asked waspishly.

"I have to get my kicks somehow." The blonde vampire surveyed the room. "What's this then?"

Angel turned his back picking up some files. "Wes had stolen of number of files from Wolfram and Hart the evening before the fight. I thought there might be something there that could help."

Spike picked up some of the papers near him and perused them. "Red would wet herself with some of these. Why didn't you ask for help with these?"

Angel didn't answer. He didn't need to as Spike had already figured it out. Angel didn't want to remind them of his folly in taking in the law firm and the results of that stupidity. Idiot. It's not as if they had forgotten. Spike decided not to comment despite his inner monologue and instead took a seat on a squishy armchair in the corner.

"What are we looking for exactly?" Spike raised his eyes questioningly.

Angel was on the floor looking haphazardly through documents. "I know there's a file around here with a list of sorcerers and witches that Wolfram and Hart have at their disposal. I came across it a few days ago but we weren't looking for it then."

Spike scoffed. "Long shot, don't you think?"

Angel sighed impatiently. "I have to do something. Besides I'm actually looking for something now- that file."

Spike felt a pang of guilt. Angel was right. It was the least they could do. He took another heap of papers and began rummaging through for something, anything. Both vampires worked silently through the paper strewing the room. Finally, Angel came across the elusive file.

"Aha, here they are." Angel handed him a file heaped with papers.

Spike frowned and took his time going through them. It's wasn't long before he came across the familiar face of the witch they had met the previous night. Her smug face was unmistakable even though it was clearly a few years old. He examined the picture of a much younger Marea Gallo. Apparently, she had been a big shot at the Rome division of Wolfram and Hart, until a decade ago she had broken with them. There was no further information on her, but it was clear she had joined up with another power-hungry outfit. Spike smirked with satisfaction. "Well done old man. We have some dirt on the chit." It wasn't much but it was a start.

To be continued...


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dislaimer: I own nothing.

**Hope**

**Chapter Fifteen**

The revelation that Angel had managed to find some information on the mysterious witch, Marea Gallo, who was linked to the disappearances, had served to perk the group up somewhat. They weren't cheering exactly, but at least they finally had somewhere to start. Spike had naturally taken it upon himself to announce the breakthrough to the group much to Angel's annoyance. Since then, Willow had been able to find more information about the woman considering that at last she had a name to go on. Unfortunately none of the information was particularly helpful. Spike was still restless and couldn't wait for the sun to go down. Buffy seemed to be thinking on the same lines. She had abandoned the books and was peering out the window. He walked over to her, careful to avoid the stray rays of sunlight. "What's the plan for tonight, pet?"

Buffy turned around and gave him a smirk. "Slayage, I hope, and if we're lucky we might bump into those soldier guys."

Spike smiled, but couldn't help teasing her. "So, no plan. Right. I can work with that. I've never been good with plans anyway."

"I remember." Buffy gave him a superior grin. "You were going to kill me on the Night of St Vigeous, but you burst in on the Parent’s Day instead."

"Yeah, I got bored," he conceded, with a shrug. "Besides, I really wanted to see you again."

She laughed at that. "Kill me, you mean."

"Evil, remember."

"You're not so evil anymore, Big Bad."

He laughed at that and she smiled back at him. She moved away from the window and the two of them headed back to where the others were gathered surrounded by books.

A few hours later, the gang were all ready to hit the street. Spike was bouncing on the balls of his feet as he was wont to do when he was impatient.

"Can you quit that?" Angel asked, waspishly. "You're wearing a hole in the floor."

Before the blond vampire could respond, Buffy intervened and turned to Angel. "I think we should head in a few minutes. You come with me, Spike can go with Gunn. Willow and Xander can continue with the books."

Spike made to object but a quelling look from Buffy quickly silenced him.

A voice came from the corner. "I shall go with the white haired one and Gunn."

Buffy hadn't heard Illyria enter, but she knew it was fruitless to try and give the god king an order. She did as she wished. Spike gave her a wicked grin. She knew what he was thinking; she was jealous and he was right. _God or no god, she had better keep her hands off him. I've taken on a god before, and I'll take her down. He's my vampire._

Buffy was interrupted in her musings. "Maybe Xan and I should come too," Willow suggested. "I really don't think there's much we can do here."

The Slayer looked apologetic. "I would feel better if there was somebody here at least."

Willow and Xander groaned but returned to the monotonous task of unearthing something helpful from the internet.

Buffy and Angel took the lower east side of the city. They had long since given up trying to beat information out the demon community. They seemed to know little more than they did. The conclusion Angel had reached was the Wolfram and Hart had to be involved somehow. It was too much of a coincidence that the witch was connected to them in the past. They were no longer an obvious power in the city, but he suspected they were still operating covertly. Like all the other nights since they had begun their investigation, there was little or no activity on the streets; The seedier aspects of Los Angeles had gone deeper underground than ever.

"Should I call Spike and see how they're getting on?" Buffy looked at him inquiringly after an hour of fruitless wandering.

He just shrugged. "Don't think it matters either way." She put a reassuring hand on his back. He shook his head. "We've never going to find him. It's like finding a needle in haystack, Buffy."

"Don't say that, Angel. We have saved the world so many times. Sooner or later they will slip up and we'll find him."

She knew he didn’t believe her. How could he when she barely trusted her own words?

She gave him a bright smile, that was meant to be comforting but it didn't quite meet her eyes.

"Come on, let's go home," she said, snaking her arm through his.

 

 

Willow was grinning when they walked in the door. "I have something. It's not much but it's something. I was just about to ring you."

Before Angel could even speak, Buffy took her no nonsense approach. "Quit babbling, Will. Just tell us!"

The witch grinned sheepishly. "Maybe Spike should tell you about it."

They hadn't even noticed the bleach haired vampire approach but turned immediately to where he was sitting on the reception desk. "I heard tell of some vampire bash being held downtown tomorrow night. It sounded fishy to me. I called on a few contacts and gave them a description of this witchy bint. They reckon she's involved in the organisation of the party."

Angel looked a little more hopeful at that. "It's somewhere to start."

Spike leered at Buffy, "Fancy a party, Slayer?"

Buffy laughed. "No I think a slayer walking in the door would ruin any chance we have." She bit her lip for a moment before her eyes lit up. "You and Angel should go in undercover. Try and blend into the crowd."

A loud snort came Xander and Buffy turned to glare at him. "Sorry, Buff. Those guys couldn't blend in anywhere what with Bleachboy's radioactive hair and Angel's-"

"I think you mean his abnormally large forehead or his poncy hair," Spike finished the sentence for him.

Buffy stifled a smile, while Angel scowled at his grandsire. "Shut up, Spike."

Spike just smirked, leaning back on the desk in a self-satisfied manner. Typical Spike; in a room with chairs aplenty he would still chose to sit on a desk.

Angel tore his eyes away from Spike and tried to get back to the more important matter at hand. "Buffy, I don't think it's a good idea. Besides, both of us are well known in these circles."

"You could disguise yourselves," Willow suggested.

Angel met Spike's eye across the room and he wore the same expression of horror at the thought.

"Well. Have you a better plan?" Buffy stood there impatiently, her hand on her hip.

Angel deflated, knowing she was right.

"We'll do it."  He knew the younger vampire wasn't going to argue either. “I can't think of anything else and I’d do anything to get Conor back.”

 

After several more hours of thinking about their plan, Angel got less and less confident of its success. Spike might want to help, but he had a knack for turning a reasonably good plan into a shambles.

As they entered the club where the party was being held, Angel finally spoke his mind. "I really don't think you should have come. I should do this by myself. You're drawing attention to us."

Sure enough a few heads turned their way, however if Angel had been more honest with himself he may have realised it was Spike's ridiculous moustache or his own bushy beard that got the attention of some of the crowd.

Spike snorted. "Well, you're drawing attention with that birds nest on your face. And I can't help it I'm so handsome."

Angel rolled his eyes. "What about your moustache?"

Spike gave him a smirk. "I could look good in anything even that beard. I'm a nice looking chap. That look doesn’t suit you though."

Angel lunged for the smaller vampire, but Spike easily dodged his arm. Instead he connected with an enormous muscled vampire standing right behind. Unluckily that was one of the bouncers of the bar.

"No fighting here," he boomed. They looked around and found that they were now surrounded by five more burly vampires. They had completely messed up this one.

 

In the end, they had nothing to show for the night. The two chagrined vampires managed to fight their way out of the party. They had done the complete opposite to what they had gone in there for. There a mood of gloom surrounded the group later that night. The only plan they had been a disaster.

Xander turned to the rest. "Maybe next time we should actually try the stealth thing?"

Spike glared at him. "Leave off Harris. We know we fucked up."

"That's not what I mean."

" _What_ do you mean?" Buffy raised her brows questioningly.

"Capture one of the soldier boys," he suggested.

"And torture him until he spills his secrets." Spike shook his head and grinned. "My, my Harris I never thought you had it in you."

"You were the one who mentioned torture, Deadboy," Xander pointed out.

"So we have to set a trap and grab one of the men." Willow sounded uneasy.

Spike bounced on the balls of his feet again and rubbed his hands together. "I love it when a plan comes together."

Xander cracked up and Gunn wore a smile, while the two women and Angel looked clueless.

"Hannibal!" Xander informed them.

"Lecter?" Buffy asked.

"No." Xander sounded exasperated. "The A-Team. Don't any of you watch television?"

Spike couldn't help but add in. "Harris, they've no taste in quality programming."

Buffy snorted. "Says the vamp, who never misses the daily soaps."

"Well, I can't go out sunbathing, can I?"

"I wish you would." Angel said deadpan.

"Know how you feel, mate. There's this bloody poof that annoys me no end.”

 

It was unbelievable that Monkey Boy had come up with a good plan and that they were going to go with it. How they were going to manage to get hold of a soldier was the question. And it was not something they could afford to take too long with. Willow hit the net and the rest of them hit the books once more. Spike gave a half-hearted protest at that, if only to keep his reputation intact. Books could only tell them what sort of experiments they were doing not what they were up to. Nevertheless they have to do something. Angel Junior was relying on them. Of course, there was a chance that Connor was already dead. He really doubted it though especially if Wolfram and Hart were involved as they seemed to be. They would know about the value of a child born of two vampires. Nevertheless, they could be doing all manner of tests on the kid. Having experienced first-hand how ruthless curious scientists could be, he could imagine what they were doing. He shuddered at the thought. _Bloody scientists._

 

It was nearly a week before they had a stroke of luck. Buffy and Spike teamed up once more to hit the demon bars in an effort to get information. They strolled into the aptly named bar called "The Dead Zone" when they overheard something interesting.

An inebriated vamp was bragging about escaping some soldier types. "A big guy was trying to prick me with some needle and I grabbed him by the neck and broke it. But it wasn't before he actually managed to jab me with it. I lost consciousness and when I awoke there were other humans trying to take me out of a van.”

His rapt audience gasped and he continued, “I broke free as they hadn't realised I had regained consciousness. Stupid humans!"

Buffy smiled at Spike and he knew instinctively she was going to strike. Buffy had the vampire by the throat in a second and the bar exploded in noise. Cries of "Slayer!" rang out as the patrons struggled to escape. They had no need to fear; the slayer was more concerned with her quarry. Spike let the Slayer do her stuff and watched to make sure nobody else would interfere while his girl was getting the information they needed. It took Buffy no more than five minutes to pry the information out of the vampire and then dust him.

"Devil's Creek," she muttered. "For the first time tonight I'm glad you brought that bike."

"Are we not going back to get the others?"

"No." She had a steely look in her eyes. "Let's just go check it out and see if there's something to see or not. Then if it's their base we can go back tomorrow better prepared."

To be continued…


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing except my story. Please do not re post without my permission. I would likely give you that permission but I have seen one or two of my stories translated and posted elsewhere without letting me know. It's flattering but please ask permission first. Linking is perfectly fine of course. :)

**Hope**

**Chapter Sixteen**

When Buffy and Spike arrived at the base, they spotted several of the vans leaving and coming into the base and the recognisable black uniforms of the men.  They knew they had struck it lucky but the base was heavily guarded.  Spike and Buffy spent a couple of hours watching the perimeter. The shifts the soldier boys seemed to change regularly and there were only about four or five leaving at a time.  That could be a good time to grab some poor blighter if stopped for a smoke.

Before Spike could voice his idea, he saw Buffy’s eyes light up.  "We can grab some guy and take his car when he's leaving his shift. Nobody would be any the wiser and we can come back before his shift for the next day."

It seemed she caught on just as quick.

"Unless he's got some poor bird waiting for him?" Spike suggested.

"Hey." She pouted. "I've come up with a good idea here and you're spoiling it. Besides he could be gay and he could have some  **bloke**  at home waiting for him".

Spike laughed at her attempt at saying bloke in an English accent. "Nice try, love, but don't give up the day job. You can slay the vampires, but not the English accent."

She punched his arm hard.

"Ouch." He rubbed the sore spot. "It's a good plan."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, it's a cracking plan, love.  It’s just what I was about to suggest.  I wasn’t throwing cold water over it, just trying to get a rise out of you."

“You can be such a pain in the ass,” she replied, but there was no heat in it.

“Let’s get out of here so, love.”

 

The whole gang had talked the plan to death by following afternoon and it had been decided the Slayer and Red were going to handle getting a captive to question.  An irritated Spike paced the floor restlessly. He didn’t like staying behind and out of action. It was Buffy's doing of course; he never could deny her. Buffy had instructed that this time he and Angel were to stay out of the way. She came up behind him and squeezed his arm. "You'll wear a hole in the carpet."

"Who cares? It's ugly anyway."

She laughed. Oh how he loved to hear her laugh. As far as he was concerned she didn't do it often enough.

Her face turned serious though. "We're going in a few minutes. Will you guys behave?"

"Yeah," he promised. "It's just I'd rather be doing something. You know?" He was Mr Fist and Fangs after all and his demon chafed at the idea.

She smiled reassuringly. "I do. I really do. It's better to do this in day time. It is night when these guys go about business so it's safer to hit them when they least expect. I promise you guys can come next time."

She paused for moment and then added, "Even if I can't take you two boys anywhere without you fighting."

His lips quirked upward despite himself. "You're a bossy bint."

"Just the way you like it." To his utter delight she pressed her lips against his cheek. While he was still processing that she had kissed him, she took off, her blond ponytail swinging behind her. He touched his face and smiled at her retreating back.

The smile was mirrored on Buffy's face as she left behind the vampire. She knew both Angel and he had really wanted to come but Willow had suggested that it might be best to strike while it was still light and having a soul didn't make them to invulnerable to sunlight. Of course they could have waited but she reckoned it was for the best, considering the bickering they were doing. Neither of them were happy, however, they took it better than she had expected. Willow was waiting for her at the front door.

"Ready to slay?" Willow asked.

"Always. It's what I do?" She linked her arm through her friend.

"You know I was kidding, right?"

Buffy laughed. "Seriously, Will. You're too easy. Though I wish I could. Back in Sunnydale I didn't really think much about what the Initiative were up to. Those kind of experiments are vile even if they are demons and monsters. I mean I like a good spot of violence as much as the next slayer.  Having said that there's a big difference between what I do and they do. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I suppose it does." Willow's brow was furrowed in thought. "There's something I meant to tell you. I asked Riley to come along. You were holed up with Spike at the time and I didn't want to disturb."

Buffy was taken aback at that. "Oh."

Willow had a confused look on her face. "I thought you trusted him."

Buffy waved her hands dismissively at that. "Yeah, of course I do but-"

"Oh my god, you're afraid Spike will be jealous."

Buffy looked sheepish. "Well you know Mr Sensitive."

Willow giggled. "Sorry, I didn't think."

A voice shouted after them. "Hey wait up!"

The two women turned around to see a winded Xander.

"Is there something wrong?" Buffy worried eyes met Xander's.

He was breathing in deeply not yet recovered from his run. "No. I just wanted to come with."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, Xan-" Willow began.

Buffy shrugged, "Sure why not. Riley's coming after all."

"Riley's coming?" He grinned widely. "Great! It will be just like old times."

 

 

A dark haired man sat at his car listening to music after the other men left.  Knowing her friends were looking out for any unexpected arrivals, Buffy struck as the soldier put out his cigarette and opened the car door. He tried for his gun; Buffy was quicker and smacked him on the head with it and knocked him out. She slumped to the ground and she slung him over her shoulder and threw him into the black van they had hired for the occasion. Riley was in the driver's seat and Xander was in the passenger's seat, while the two women were huddled in the back around the unconscious man.

For the first time that evening Willow looked a little nervous. "Can't we just tickle him?"

"How about we leave him in a room trapped with Spike?" Xander quipped. "He'd be ready to top himself after an hour or two."

"Ha! Ha!" Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Okay." The witch bit her lip. "So we should go I guess."

"I've always wanted to say this." Xander was looking very proud of himself. "Riley, step on it!"

Riley put his foot on the pedal when Buffy spoke. "No, don't step on it. Hang on. I forgot about the car. Xander can you get in his car and drive it after us. The keys are in the ignition."

"Even better," Xander said. "Not every day a man gets to drive a car like that- if you're me anyway."

Buffy shook her head. "Mind the expensive motor car, Xan."

 

 

Meanwhile the next couple of hours had gone by extremely slowly. The two vampires spent most of the time in silence as they contemplated what could be happening. It was this oppressive silence that was broken when others returned making an awful lot of noise. The two stood up immediately.

Xander burst into the room. "The Xan-man prevailed. Give me five." He raised his hand to Angel, who gave him a disdainful look.

"What did you find out?" Angel pressed him.

Before Xander could reply a voice came from behind them. "We know where they're keeping him and we know how to get in?"

The three turned at Buffy's pronouncement. Buffy and Willow had entered the room in the meantime.

Spike looked around curiously. "So where's the soldier boy?"

Buffy bit her lip. "He's back at his own place.  Xander found letters in his car with his address and his house keys were on the car keys. Lucky for us he lives alone and we have him tied up. Tonight we have to take him with us in order to get in. The scanner to gain entrance needs a retinal scanner."

Spike couldn't resist making a joke to break the tension. "We could just pluck out his eye and give it to Harris."

Buffy glared at him. "That's not funny."

"Actually I thought it was," said Xander laughing.

Angel was looking suspiciously at Buffy. "Do you think that it was a good idea to leave him alone? I presume you restrained him at least."

Xander interrupted, "Don't be stupid, Angel. Riley's with him of course."

Spike jerked in surprise at that revelation but was careful to restrain himself. Buffy bit her lip nervously and looked at him. He didn't say anything but his insides were churning. How dare she keep him in the dark like that? No wonder she wanted them out of the way. He wasn't going to make a fuss. They could have it out after the boy was safe. Harris continued on obliviously telling them all about how they managed to capture the soldier. Spike didn't pay too much attention – too busy seething. As he avoided her probing gaze he attempted to change the subject of conversation to the coming night's plan. "How do we go about this storming of the enemy, then?"

 

A few hours later the time for planning was over; It was now time for action. Buffy surveyed the room from the staircase. Almost the whole gang were gathered in foyer of the Hyperion – Angel, Gunn, Willow and Xander.  Although there was still no sign of Spike, she knew he would be there shortly as he knew how important this mission was. She suspected he was off brooding somewhere. She had tried to get hold of him after they had all gone through the plan, but he had disappeared quickly not giving her any chance to explain. With the benefit of hindsight she knew she should have called in advance and given him the heads up. It was stupid of her. She knew how Spike felt about Riley – how insecure he was and that he didn't trust Riley at all. Her miserable thoughts must have shown on her face as Willow came over to her and squeezed her arm.

"Spike's down in the gym," she whispered. She looked anxiously at Buffy. "I didn't mean to cause any trouble between you."

Buffy shook her head. "No, Will, this is my bad. And thanks for telling me where he is."

She headed up the stairs in the direction of the gym. However, she had only got as far as the top of the stairs when she almost walked into the vampire.

"Spike," she said startled.

He gave her a cold stare. "You look surprised. Did you think I was too busy sulking to come? Not going to let the kid down for anything, Slayer."

"Spike-" she began.

"Not the time for it now." He said as he brushed past her. The man was impossible. She was trying to apologise and he wouldn't let her get a word in. 0000000

She grabbed his arm to prevent him from walking away, but he refused to turn around. "I'm sorry, okay. I didn't know Willow had brought Riley in on it. Then when I did, I guess I should have called you on your cell. So I'm sorry."

Spike turned around slowly and he still spoke in that infuriatingly cool manner. "You know how I feel about Riley. I don't trust him." Suddenly the anger seemed to evaporate and he shrugged his shoulders. "I know you're sorry and I should be used to this by now. Your friends matter, their feelings matter more than your own, but mine never mattered. They still don't apparently."

His voice sounded so hollow and that shocked her. This was obviously something that had been gnawing at him a long time – perhaps since the year she crawled out of her grave and into his bed. She didn't know what to say, because there was such a large amount of truth in that, although things had changed for her, but maybe she hadn't made this clear to him. She looked at his face, the pain evident in his blue eyes. "Buffy," he said, softer this time, "This isn't the time to hash this out. Let's go rescue Angel Junior. Yeah?"

She relaxed at that and nodded her agreement. They were being selfish, being all involved in their own dramas, when Angel's son was being held captive. They walked side by side down the corridor towards the rest of their group.

"Did the bloke tell you what sort of research they are doing behind those steel walls? Are they building another Frankenstein or what?"

Buffy was relieved at his decision to speak again and seized on the topic gratefully. "His name is Henry Walters. With a little bit of persuasion he gave you a lot of helpful information. Apparently, they are experimenting on demons to see if there are any things that could help with an improved Army. Angel's son is a special case, because he already is a hybrid. He is human but has inhuman strength, speed and stamina."

Spike shook his head in disgust. "He's the ideal candidate for experimentation if they are looking to make super soldiers."

She shuddered at the thought and the frightening thing was she remembered her reaction to what the Initiative were doing back in Sunnydale. She hadn't immediately realised the wrongness of it at the time. She learned through her experience that year how naive that was. Spike could vouch for that. Their eyes met and she knew they were both thinking the same thing.  _They couldn't fail. They had to get him out of there._

 

**To be continued…**


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

**Chapter 17**

There was silence in the foyer when they reached it. The group loaded into the black van they had used earlier that day and drove to where Riley had been playing babysitter. They were in the cover of darkness and it made it easier to bring the man out of his house inconspicuously, as well as being safe for the two vampires to venture out. Spike was determined to concentrate on the matter in hand and ignored Riley's presence. He and Riley had said everything they had needed to the last time they met.  _Bastard- wouldn't trust him as far as Harris could throw him._  He wasn't sure he liked the plan Buffy had come up with either;It meant trusting Riley a lot more than he would have liked. The journey to the compound took hardly any time at all especially with Buffy going over the plan for the umpteenth time. Buffy, Angel and Willow were going to head in first, closely followed by Spike and Riley. Xander and Gunn were charged with keeping an eye on what was going on outside the compound and to be ready to make a quick break away. Illyria had been left completely out of the plans, as she was prone to acting rashly and violently.

Blue had given Buffy a scathing look when Spike had asked her to stay behind. "The only reason why I am doing as you bid is because I do not wish to take part."

His slayer had glared right back. Spike grinned at the memory. He was jolted from the memory by the slayer herself. She was calling his name.

"Sorry," he muttered.

She gave him a penetrating look. "Are you sure you want to head in with Riley?"

Spike nodded, “Not of case of wanting to as such, but it makes sense.”

The main reason he had suggested it was that he wanted to keep a close eye on the wanker and if he was proven right about not trusting him then he would be right on hand to mete out justice.

She narrowed her eyes. "Can I trust you guys not to kill each other?"

Spike tried for an innocent look. "You wound me, pet."

She rolled her eyes, exasperated. She grabbed their captive and took off across the compound. Angel, Spike, Riley, and Willow followed in their wake. The crossing was uneventful and they managed to avoid anybody. It seemed the army blokes had gotten lax in their security which was in their favour. He looked around at his companions. The Slayer looked like she meant business and Angel was clearly looking for some violence.

"So what way does this renal scanner thing work, Henry?" Buffy looked at the bound man meaningfully.

"She means the retinal scanner," Spike explained.

"That's what I said!" She shoved Henry forward. "Go on!"

Spike waited apprehensively to see if the bloke had been playing them, but the steel door opened immediately.

Buffy looked at Spike and Riley. "Give us ten minutes if you can. If we don't come back out then follow us in. That way we have a chance to disable the security." She turned to Willow and Angel. "Let's go!"

Spike took over duty of restraining their captive. The boy looked terrified. "What are you going to do with me?"

Spike didn't answer, but kept a firm hand on him. If Henry got free then they had no chance of getting out with the kid. Henry was shaking uncontrollably and it already was grating on his fraying nerves. It was bad enough being stuck with Captain Cardboard, never mind a bloke who was close to wetting himself in terror.

"What are you going to do with me?" he repeated.

"I'll eat you if you don't shut it!"

The boy stopped whining immediately and the three stood there in silence and counted down the minutes.

Buffy led the way down a long narrow corridor, Willow and Angel in her wake.

Suddenly, Angel hissed, "Stop!"

The two women came to a halt and the vampire listened again. "There are some soldiers coming."

Buffy turned to Willow. "Do we have time to do the invisibility charm?"

"They're too close," Angel interrupted.

Buffy and Angel rushed as quietly as they could to the top of the corridor, each taking one side of the door. No sooner had the door opened, the two men were knocked unconscious by the duo.

Willow bit her lip nervously. "Let's hope they stay conked out for long enough."

"We're wasting time," Angel snapped. "Come on Willow. Can you do this spell or not?"

"I can but it requires a lot of concentration and it's only going to work as long as we hold hands. I'm the source of the charm and by holding on to me the charm keeps you invisible. The minute one of us breaks the connection the charm is broken. That's why we can only use it from time to time."

Angel nodded. "Fine."

Buffy spoke then. "I think we should try it as soon as we get through this door and keep it going as long as we can."

 

Meanwhile, Spike couldn't wait any longer. He shoved Henry and his eye at the scanner.

"What are you doing?" Riley hissed as the door opened for them. "Ten minutes haven't passed yet."

"Screw that. I'm not waiting any longer." He shoved Henry in front of him. The corridor was empty except for two unconscious blokes lying in a corner. They walked gingerly over to the men. There were two rifles strewn on the ground and the vampire picked them up and handed one to Riley.

"Sorry, kid," he said to Henry and hit him with the butt of the rifle knocking him out. “Don’t need you anymore.”

Henry crumpled on the floor as Riley looked on agog. Spike looked around and noticed a white door half way down the corridor. He listened carefully before he opened the door and smirked when he found a large utility cupboard.

"Help me lock 'em in,” Spike said. “Three birds with one stone."

Between the two of them they had the three unconscious men tied up and locked in rather quickly.

Spike jumped when he heard a familiar voice in his head. "Spike!"

"Red," he mumbled.

Willow's chirpy voice spoke again. "You can head in now. Take the right fork at the top of the corridor. We took the left. I'll keep in touch with you and let you know how we're doing. Good luck."

"What was that?" Riley looked at him suspiciously.

"The witch was letting us know where to go. She said to take a right when we go through this door."

The strange thing about this place was that you would imagine that it would be busy at night with soldier bringing new specimens in and that. Nevertheless, there seemed to be little going on tonight. They took the right as bid and continued down through more corridors that looked just the same as the last – white walls and steel doors. They passed the gym and the restaurant, but still no sign of where the holding cells were.

"I don't like idea that it's so quiet, Spike," Riley said.

"Me either," Spike admitted. "Feel like it's the calm before the storm."

As if the universe had heard him, the door ahead of them burst open revealing a group of men.

Spike thinking quickly shoved Riley and vamped out. "Fuck off!"

A startled Riley recovered quickly as he realised what Spike was up to. He grabbed the vampire by the lapels of his jacket and pretended to hit him hard on the head with the rifle. Spike played along and dropped to the floor. He felt Riley pick him up roughly. "This vamp thinks he's something special." Spike could tell Farmer Boy was enjoying this and he could hear the mocking laughter of the soldiers as he was pulled along.

A middle aged soldier with greying hair and thin glasses frowned, "Hang on, soldier. Where are your fatigues?"

Riley paused a moment. "You mind who you're speaking to. Do you speak to all your superiors like that?"

There was no reply and so Spike figured Riley must have gotten the measure of the man. A few minutes later he felt himself fall to the floor.

"You can quit playing comatose, now."

Spike opened his eyes and grinned. Who would have thought it? Riley Finn and William the Bloody were making a good team. Of course, he still didn't like the wanker or trust him. Just as the thought struck him, a siren began to roar and there was the sound of running feet. Spike pulled Riley into an empty room and the two of them ducked down and listened at the door.

"We have intruders in the building; one male and two female."

"Buffy," Spike murmured.

Spike jumped to his feet. All he could think about the wankers getting their hands on his slayer. As he went to open the door a fist struck his jaw. "Oh bloody hell, Finn! What did you do that for?" The vampire was satisfied to see that the big lug was rubbing his fists.

"I'm punching some sense into you before you go running. Buffy's a big girl. She will be fine. We need to concentrate on getting Connor out of here." Spike knew Captain Cardboard was right and that in itself was all kinds of wrong. Unlike Buffy, Connor had no way out of here unless they got to him.

They could still hear the tell-tale sound of feet pounding the corridors. They were all running in the opposite direction which they had been heading. Just when Spike was despairing of ever getting out of the room in which they were hidden, a familiar voice called his name.

He was never so glad to have his mind violated by the witch. "Red, are you all okay?"

"We're fine, Spike. Have you passed the infirmary yet?"

"No, but we're nearly there. I saw a sign for it."

"Take the third left after the infirmary and that's where all the cells are. Go right down to the other end of the cellblock and Connor is in the second last cell. Then get out of there."

Spike felt a little relieved, but he still was anxious as he knew they the soldier boys all had guns and the last time Buffy had been faced with an assailant with a gun she had been shot. That time he had not been there either.

He glared at Riley. "Come on. Let's go! Red just told me where to go."

He got a confused look from the idiot, however he caught on quickly and soon the two of them were walking purposefully down the empty corridor. It seemed the others really had provided a distraction that might just help them get into cellblock. Once they were in there, it surely wouldn't be as easy to get back out.

 

Contrary to Willow's reassurance, the three others were in deep trouble. They had found themselves surrounded by several soldiers and their guns.

 _I really hate guns_ , thought Buffy. The numbers of soldiers were increasing steadily and all the three of them could do was surrender quietly and hope to find some other way out. They started off well finding a map of the premises. That was helpful knowing that the other two in their party were going in the right direction at least. They had turned around to make their way towards the cellblock, where Henry had informed them Connor was being kept captive. The first clue they had that Willow's invisibility charm was fading was when two men came around the corner and quickly pointed their guns at them. "Who are you?" asked one.

"Hey, that's Angel." answered the other.

That was the beginning of a whole load of badness. They fought as best they could but quickly found themselves outnumbered. As they were led away by the soldiers, Buffy could see Angel trying to make eye contact with her. She knew by his expression what he was going to do. Angel wiggled out from the grasp of the men that had him under restraint. Bullets might do damage to a vampire, but unlike humans a little gunshot wound couldn't kill them. Willow and she were another story, though, and she knew Angel wanted them to play along and let him escape. Angel's plan was scuppered, however, as the back of a gun was brought down hard on his skull knocking him to ground.

A muscular, moustached soldier gave the two women a warning look. "Now don't either of you think about any heroics."

Buffy rolled her eyes. As long as she breathed, she would never give up. As Spike would say she was a stubborn bint. Besides chances were if they were going to be held anywhere then they would be held at the cellblock, and that was where Connor would be and where Spike and Riley were heading, if they weren't already there.

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything and more's the pity.

**Hope**

**Chapter 18**

Spike and Riley took a few minutes had to reach their destination.  There was double doors at the end of the corridor and a scanner.  It looked like a regular scanner not like the retinal scanner at the main entrance. There had been an absence of scanners in the building and the vampire had gambled on the idea that the initial entrance was the only maximum security point.  In retrospect he should have realised that the cellblock would be secure.

“Fuck – probably should have brought that wanker with us after all.”

Riley groaned, “Shit. What do we do now?”

Spike frowned and rang his fingers through his gelled hair.  They could just break down the doors and with his supernatural strength it would easily be done, although it would reduce the element of surprise.  He would rather not risk it, yet.  Maybe he had grown up at last? 

“Might be best not to draw attention to ourselves, yeah?”

Riley nodded, though his slack jawed expression clearly indicated he had stunned the wanker almost as much as himself.  Spikes new found maturity didn’t stop it from being extremely frustrating to be so close and yet so far. 

He bounced on the balls of his feet.  “Any ideas, Finn?”

Riley shook his head.  They were hidden in a dark corner opposite the entrance. The angle of their hiding place meant they had a good view in the glass panes on the doors.  Most of the people inside were wearing white coats and badges, although there were a few soldiers to be seen accompanying their prisoners. Spike’s skin started to crawl remembering the time he spent in the Initiative.  There was no doubt in his mind now that the goal of this whole demon napping operation was science and this was where all the experimenting was going on.

“Even if we found some way in we would stick out like sore thumbs,” Spike pointed out.

“If we could get our hands on two of those uniforms, we could blend in.”

Spike nodded.  “Yeah, but aside from grabbing two and nabbing their clobber…”

His voice trailed off.   He looked around carefully to see if there was any possible solution to the problem.   Maybe there was a laundry room or a storeroom nearby?  For once Riley appeared to catch on fast and they checked a couple of doors but there was no joy.  Spike swore under his breath.  He looked up at the ceiling then. There were a number of air vents, but they couldn’t be sure which one would take them right over the cellblock.  Spike was damned if he was going to wait much longer.  The sound of footfalls reached his sensitive ears.  He pulled Riley roughly back into the shadows with him. 

“Hey!” Riley said before Spike clamped his hand over his mouth.

“Somebody is coming,” he hissed quietly into the man’s ear. “If there’s only a few, I say let’s jump them as quietly as possible.”

Spike let Riley go.  Three men rounded the corner and Spike smirked looking meaningfully at Riley and the two took the men from behind swiftly knocked them out.  The three unconscious men were wearing the same white coats like the others they had seen and if he had to hazard a guess, he would say that they were scientists.  Spike let his demon come to the fore and growled.   _Bloody scientists._   Without speaking both Spike and Riley took the white coats off two of the victims, and pulled them on themselves instead.  Spike checked his coat for an ID badge as it would be needed to gain access. 

He let his game face recede as he prepared to enter the cell block.  “We watch each other’s back and go straight to the end of the block.  Boy’s supposed to be there.” 

Riley said, “Just try not to attract any attention with that radioactive hair.”

Spike raised his brows.  “You’re just jealous, because Buffy happens to like it.”

He swiped his ID card and the two of them walked right in.  Everybody in the room looked to be very preoccupied and they aroused no suspicion as they walked through the floor.  As they were nearing the back of the cellblock Spike got the kid’s scent.  When they got nearer, he caught sight of the boy, sitting on the floor while a woman stood outside his cell and appeared to be taking notes.  The cell was shut the there was a glass pane so as to allow the captives to be observed.  Spike looked around carefully weighing up his surroundings. The cell was right in the back and was in an isolated spot.  More importantly once inside the cell they couldn’t be seen, but they still had to get out which would require moving out into the open once more.  Spike crept up silently behind the woman, placing his hands over her mouth to prevent her from screaming.  Connor’s eyes lit up in recognition when he spotted Spike.  Riley used his ID to open the cell door and Connor clumsily got to his feet. 

“Just shove her into the cell.  It’s soundproof.  They can’t hear you from the outside no matter how much you scream.” 

Spike noticed the scarf around the woman’s neck and used a free hand to untie it. He stepped into the cell still holding the woman tightly and suddenly took his hand away from her mouth only to stuff it with the scarf.  The movement was so quick the woman hardly registered it in time to scream.

“Just to be on the safe side,” Spike explained.  He gestured at Riley.  “This is Riley Finn.  He used to work in a place just like this.”

Riley rolled his eyes.  “But I’m on your side now.”

“So he says,” Spike said.

Connor ignored the snide comments.  “How do we get out of here now?”

Spike shrugged.  “We fight.”

There was a sudden sound of flurry the other side of the cellblock. Spike peered around the corner.  Sure they were definitely going to fight.  A group of soldier boys had Buffy, Willow and Angel in tow.  Spike supressed a growl.  How dare they manhandle his slayer like that?

“You and the boy run when you get a chance. I’m going to distract those wankers.”  

There was a trolley with laundry up against the wall and Spike walked out into the centre of the cellblock pushing the trolley.  He was careful to catch Buffy’s eye and her lips quirked upward.  He shoved the trolley towards them startling the soldiers giving the three a chance to get free in the ruckus.

“Run!” Spike shouted over his shoulder.  He saw them pass out of the corner of his eye as a bald man made a move for him.  Spike was too quick for him and grabbed the gun off him, bending it out of shape. Buffy and Spike took a familiar position of fighting back to back as they tried to edge their way out the door towards the exit.  There were flashes of light from where Willow was positioned as she used her magic to fight the men and crunches of bone from where Angel was battling.  There were bullets flying and this was worrying as both Willow and Buffy could be hurt badly and even killed. 

Spike parried a blow from a blond haired scientist.  “I was worried about you, love.”

Buffy kicked the legs out from another attacker.  “I was afraid you and Riley would kill each other.”

“It was a close call.”

“Come on!” Angel was yelling at the door.

Buffy and Spike moved as quickly as they could.  As Buffy was leaving she broke the handle off the door to hold them off a bit longer.  Hopefully it would buy them enough time to get the closest exit. 

 

The alarms had started sounding again. The high pitched frequency was harsh to their ears. Buffy grabbed Spike’s hand and they ran together.  Willow and Angel were in front of them following the route taken by Riley and Connor.  It wasn’t long before they were being perused once again.  The sound of gunfire rang out down the narrow corridor.  Spike tensed slightly and let out a moan of pain.  Buffy looked down to where his leg was bleeding from a bullet wound. 

He let go of Buffy’s hand.  “Keep running, love. I’ll just slow you down and I won’t have you hit by a bullet for me.”

She looked at him disbelievingly and tugged at his arm again.  “You’re not doing something stupid and noble again or rather I won’t let you.”

“You’re an impossible bint.  But I guess that’s why I love you.”

Spike nostrils flared. “We’re near the exit.”

“Oh thank god,” she exclaimed.

“Buffy, can I’ve some help here?”  Angel gestured at the door.  “I tried to open it myself, but I think it’s a two person job.”  With their combined brute force they should be able to open the door. Within seconds the door was open, but it seemed the lock was computerised and it was beginning to close again.  Willow and Angel rushed out with Buffy in their wake.   Riley and Connor managed to run out the door behind her just before the doors shut.  She looked around frantically for Spike, but there was no sign of him. “

He’s not with you?”  Buffy asked them, close to panicking.

Riley shook his head.  “He was right behind us.” 

Angel and Buffy began using their strength again to open the door, but the door wouldn’t budge.  The door must be reinforced even more from the outside.

“Move over,” Willow instructed her, and she had them opened magically within a moment.  Buffy took off into the building calling behind her.  “I’ll hug you later, Will!”

 _Where is my damn vampire?_   When she opened the saw a melee of unconscious soldiers and a very smug if pained vampire.

“Spike!”  She threw herself into his arms.  “Don’t ever give me a fright like that again.”

Spike looked gleeful.  “Can we do it again?”

Buffy rolled her eyes.  “You’re such a big kid. Quick come on! Willow can only keep the door open so long.”

The two of them hurried out the door. The others were clambering into the back of the black van they had arrived in.  Xander had clearly seen them escape and driven as close as possible to the building.  There were soldiers beginning to come out of the doors as they pulled away.  Buffy just hoped they wouldn’t follow. She was exhausted and had all the excitement that her heart could take for one night.

The gang arrived back at the hotel without being followed.  Angel was looking Connor over carefully and suggesting that he go to the hospital to get checked out.  Connor was refusing, but Buffy knew first-hand how Angel could wear you down.  Riley and Willow were giving Gunn and Xander the low down on what happened inside.  Illyria was pretending that she wasn’t interested in the affair but was listening intently nonetheless.  Spike was sitting silently in the corner watching her. 

She turned around and walked over to him.  “Can we talk?”

Spike patted the floor next to him and she sat down beside him.   He seemed to have forgotten his earlier irritation at her.  She knew they needed to have this conversation though.

“Spike, I’m sorry about Riley.” 

He stiffened at the topic.  “Can we not do this tonight?  I’m knackered.”

“No, I need you to understand.  It’s not that I don’t care about your opinion.  Sometimes, I just don’t think.  Bad habits I guess.”

“More like I’m the bad habit,” he muttered.

“No Spike,” she said and reached from his hand.  “You’re not. Don’t say that. You have to know that you and Dawn are the two most important people in my life right now.”

He looked at her disbelievingly, though he didn’t remove his hand from her grasp.  “It doesn’t feel like that.”

Buffy sighed.  “The gang are important and of course I’m going to care what they think.  I’m working on learning to be independent Buffy.”

He said nothing, but gave her a small smile and put his other hand on top of hers and squeezed.  Well that was a start.

 

To be continued…


	19. Epilogue

Epilogue

It was time to leave the Hyperion and Buffy was standing in the lobby of the Hyperion to say goodbye to Angel. Spike had left the building to wait for the taxi and the others had made themselves scarce after saying their own goodbyes.

“Thank you so much for coming to help,” Angel said.

Buffy beamed at him. “You’re welcome.” 

"It's not really over though," he said darkly. "I need to make sure those bastards can't get near my son again."

Buffy thought briefly of Dawn and shivered involunatarily. "If you need any help make sure you let us know."

"Don't worry," Angel added. "Conor and I have many plans for them."

The cold smile on his face reminded her of Angelus and she shivered again. Somehow, this both unsettled and steadied her at the same time. It was disconcerting to see the demon was so close to the surface, something Angel had always tried to shield her from. At the same time it helped that she now felt Angel had the situation under control.

She nodded. "The offer's open anyway...anytime."

"Don't think Spike would be too happy about that. Speaking of Spike, it’s odd, but you seem to have a calming influence on him.”

She laughed at that. “I don’t think so.”

Angel looked at her with a soft, almost wistful smile. “I knew that he loved you, but to actually see it first-hand is a different thing. I can see it in your eyes when you look at one another. You know it doesn’t hurt as much as I imagined it would." He coughly and shifted his gaze to the floor. "I know you don’t need it but you have my blessing.”

Buffy was surprised. “You’re right, we don’t, but I appreciate it all the same.” It felt like more than a normal goodbye, like they were tying up their loose ends once and for all.

Spike's head popped in the front door, a cigarette dangled from his mouth. “We had better be going, love. Taxi's here.”

Buffy stepped forward to embrace her former boyfriend. ”You take care."

"You too," he whispered as he released her.

The hug was quick and arkward, both sensing Spike's eyes on them. Angel's gaze shifted from Buffy to his grandsire.

Spike grinned. “See you around, Gramps.”

“Thanks,” Angel mumbled, catching the younger vampire off guard.

“You’re welcome,” Spike replied automatically. 

Buffy and he walked out the front door to where a cab was waiting for them. Buffy smiled; she still found it surreal when the two were being civil to one another. 

Once they were sitting side by side in the car, Spike wound down the window. “Hey, Captain Forehead. Do you think you could repeat that bit about being thankful to old Spike?”

Buffy smothered a laugh and whacked him on the arm. Angel’s only response to give a two fingered gesture, which Spike himself would be proud of.

 

 

Buffy had been afraid Spike wouldn’t come back with her. He had a life over in LA after all and she had made no promises to him regarding their future. Still he told her, he wanted to come back with her for now anyway. He was willing to give her the space that she needed to work out what she wanted. The thing is she had figured that much out; she knew she was in love with him. It was whether she was ready to get into a relationship with him was the thing that was worrying her. They had hurt each other so badly in the past and knew each other’s weaknesses and strengths. 

It was Xander that had put in perspective when they were returning from LA. “Do you love him or not?” he had asked.

“It’s not that simple,” she replied.

“Do you?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then you should be with him. Love isn’t all roses, Buff. There’s always a risk. If you never take a risk, you’ll never be happy. I was afraid of marrying Anya, even though I loved her. Instead of working at it, I left her at the altar and I never got that chance again.”

That was why Buffy had taken Spike aside once they arrived back at her place. She had thought long and hard about what Xander had said. During the journey home she examined their past relationship, if you could call it that, and made a decision. She took him into their back room, where they would be away from prying eyes. Spike was pacing nervously. There was nothing for it. She just had to say it.

“Spike, I –I love you.”

Spike’s mouth dropped open and his blue eyes were wide.

Buffy smiled and spoke again. “I love you, and I want to be with you.”

He gave her an awe-filled look. She had never felt so loved than in that moment. He still seemed to be speechless.

“Can you say something, Spike?”

He just laughed joyfully. “Oh Buffy.” He grabbed hold of her and kissed her forcefully. She twined her arms around him and responded with fervour. He pulled away to give her time to catch her breath.

He locked his eyes on hers. “You really mean it, love?”

She took his head in her hands and stroked his cheek. “I love you.”

“Say it again!”

“I love you.”

His lips met hers again passionately. The kisses were sweet but demanding. She never wanted to let him go but her lungs demanded air.

“I think I finally figured out where we went wrong,” Buffy said she got a chance to breathe.

“You did?” Spike replied warily.

“We were all sex and no kissage!”

Spike arched a brow.

Buffy gave him a coy little smile. “What I mean is that kissing is a great way to shut you up and keep you from saying something stupid.”

“Hey!” Spike protested but soon stopped when Buffy threw her arms around him once more.

“Sssh - no talking,” Buffy whispered, “There are more interesting things you can do with your mouth.”

“Is that right?” he asked smirking. Then they were kissing again

“Mmm you are a great kisser” Buffy murmured into his neck..

“You are not so bad yourself, pet” he said, running his fingers through her tousled hair. She laughed heartily. 

“So am I even better than Peaches?” he asked.

“Spike!” she exclaimed, “I am not going to answer that.”

However, then she giggled. “Um, yeah” she conceded with a grin.

“Yes!” He punched the air, grabbed her around the waist and twirled her around.

“You’re not telling, Angel," she said as he swung her. A thought hit her the moment her feet met the ground once ore. "Oh my god, did you guys have a bet on who I thought was the better kisser?”

Spike chuckled so hard she thought he might choke. It was just as well he was a vampire. Eventually, he calmed enough to reply, “No we did not, and no I will not tell the Great Poof as much as I love to brag.”

Buffy looked satisfied until he added, “I will be sure to look extremely cocky next time I meet him though.”

“You’re pig, Spike,” she retorted.

"But you love me anyway," he said smugly.

His face turned serious for a moment. "You're really sure about this?" His eyes were earnest and almost pleading, like a child seeking reassurance. "I don't deserve you, took a soul for me to learn that."

She put her hand to his face and cupped his cheek, "I love you, Spike. This is real and I know it'll be hard and there'll be times when we'll want to walk away. We're both hard headed and quick tempered..."

She could see a little fear and doubt in the depths of his eyes. "That's only somewhat reassuring, love."

She sighed. "What I'm trying to say is I love you and I'm not an idiot. I know we have a lot of baggage, but I'm prepared to make it work if you are." She paused. His silence unnerved her and she wondered if she said something wrong. She always found it difficult to find the right words to express her feelings. "You're my other half. Without you I don't feel like I'm truly living and it took losing you to really realise that."

Her hand was still cupping his cheek and he brought his hand up to cover it. "You're bloody amazing. After everything I've done and I've been."

Their lips met once more in a short, gentle kiss. They both smiled shyly at one another as if they were arkward teenagers after having their first kiss. He rested his forehead against hers and she pulled his body as close to her as their clothes would allow.

The intimacy of the moment was interupted by the sound of a door opened and a yelp from Xander at the doorway. “Whoops sorry.”

“Just shut the door on your way out!” Spike growled. 

Xander quickly obliged him and moments later Dawn squealed from the living room. “It is about time!”

Dawn was loud enough for them to hear, however, they were too immersed in one another to pay her any mind.

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who read, reviewed and gave kudos.


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